OJing

The opposite of JOing. The feeling of regret that sometimes comes after jack/jerking off. Often followed by rash actions of desperation, for example murdering your ex-wife or singing R&B songs from the 70’s.

Dude 1, “What’s the matter buddy?”

Dude 2, “I just JOed, now I’m totally OJing.”

Dude 1, “Want to sing Love Train?”

Dudes 1&2, “PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD…”

23👍 2👎

Italics

A racist font the continued use of which perpetuates the stereotype that all Italian men’s penises slant upward to the right.

Dude 1, “I think I’ll write my next sentence in italics.”

Dude 2, “Dude, don’t you know that font is racist against Italians?”

Dude 1, “Shut up you slant-dicked WOP!”

58👍 16👎

bolo tie

When a man wraps another man’s ballsack around his penis and proceeds to thrust into the ballsack until he ejaculates.

To an objective observer the two men’s penises hanging side-by-side with the ballsack in the middle resemble the classic Western necktie.

Dude 1, “Hey, what are you doing with my ballsack?”

Dude 2, “Wrapping it around my penis, after which I will proceed to thrust into it until I ejaculate.”

Objective observer, “Oh, a bolo tie. Classy.”

33👍 5👎

fourdick

When one puts a dildo on each of his/her four fingers and proceeds to slap another across the face with the dildoed hand. Preferably preceded by a killer setup, see below.

Term coined by Edward Penishands.

Dude 1 has his hand hidden behind his back with a dildo on each of his four fingers.

Dude 1, “You’ve got a fourdick on your face.”
Dude 2, “I think you messed up that joke man. Isn’t it supposed to be a dickfor?”

Dude 1, “Who said anything about a joke? I’m just telling you you’ve got a fourdick on your face.”
Dude 2, “Fine, I’ll bite. What’s a fourdick?”
Dude 1 slaps Dude 2 across the face with his dildoed hand.

20👍 1👎

no bun hotdog

When two men hold their erect penises parallel to each other on a horizontal plane and a third man places his erect penis in between them from the opposite direction, thus resembling a hotdog with hotdogs for buns.

Dude 1, “Dudes, hold out your dicks parallel to one another so I can put my dick in between them, thus achieving a no bun hotdog.”

Dudes 2 & 3, “OK.”

35👍 2👎

no bun hotdog

When two men hold their erect penises parallel to each other on a horizontal plane and a third man places his erect penis in between them from the opposite direction.

Dude 1, “Dudes, hold out your dicks parallel to one another so I can put my dick in between them, thus achieving a no bun hotdog.”

Dudes 2 & 3, “OK.”