left test

A rough method of judging a person's rate of aging. To left test is to view a user's current profile picture on Facebook, which is the most recent, and press the left arrow key. This goes back to the user's first picture, when they were younger. It may span several years, or few, and their mileage will vary.

<while friend is stalking someone on Facebook> Damn, give them the left test!
According to the left test, she's like-new.

Fern

70's slang-term for a prolific pubic bush.

Inclusive of all genders and identifications.
The main requirement is a crotchal region neglected from grooming for months, whereupon entire ecosystems can be formed.

Jack Rebney: "And, they fit the diverse buyer needs of a very large... fern. What's the fuckin' line, Ken?"

Zach Galifianakis: "Between two Ferns"

llama

Phonetic ebonic predecessor of "n00b" or "noob": lamer, lamah, lammah

When slang on the Internet was influenced by ebonics to change "er" endings of words to an "ah" sound. The popular insult "lamer" became "lamah," which is both awkward looking and phonetically pre-existing in English as "llama." This practice of phonetic substitution would later peak as a fad by bastardizing the moment when two humans pronounce their undying bond for one another with simply "Olive Juice."

Synonym: newb or n00b
Antonym: elite, l33t

Derogatory term to indicate limited cunning or wit in a given topic, typically technological.

Noun. "llama, llamas"

- A lame person or thing in cyber/leetspeak.

- There are those who are leet, and there are llamas.
Adjective: "llama"

- Lame. This club is llama.
Verb

- Not used: "Chad has become llama" would be spoken only by a llama.

***now chatting in #momsemuroms***
*leechgzplz disconnected: <timeout exceeded: 3000s>*
haqeur: u ph34r us yet, eric?
h0m3br3w: just Ddos'd that llama w regular /ping on dial-up

"Winamp, it really whips the llama's ass"

35👍 23👎

i dunno

That thing she always said. When she knew she had nowhere else to run. All the loose ends were tied up, all the different variations of endings in the mystery novel were understood.

You: "Hey where'd that <incriminating object> come from?"
Her: "I dunno."
You: f'This reminds me of some shit from a movie. What the fuck, {self.girlfriend.name}?'
Her: "I dunno..."
You: "Nah we saw one like last week and it had this same incriminatory content and a suspect that had no real lines."
Her: "Oh yeah, I remember that."

doormat

An object you place in front of your door. ffs
Not a person you treat as if they were a doormat. You know, walkin' all over 'em and makin em feelike shitlike WHAT?
You gonna do that?

A doormat is simply an object placed before an entryway into someone's home. It is NEVER a human being that is treated like some planar object you can just walk all over, wipe your shoes off on, and then enter into the person's home I can't even get into. I can't get in there, because - hint hint - I'm a fucking doormat. So sure, I'll stay out here, glad I could be of help.

He used a doormat to wipe his shoes off before going into the apartment.

28👍 12👎

nitwit

A person who thinks nitpicking is a sign of intelligence, and is incredibly annoying even if incorrect.
Gets a serotonin blast to their skull anytime they correct someone for shit regular people choose to overlook.
A nitwit likes to track others behavior and critique them in a ninny, fuckwad manor.

NitWit: "You left your monitor on all night."
You: "How the fuck did you see my monitor in my bedroom?"
NitWit: "On my daily electricity checks I sweep all rooms, you know that"
You: "Listen, NitWit."
NitWit: "Whoa, that's like using the n-word."
You: "I know, I say that as well in my spare time."

dipshit

A person who is dense in the head - as if they have literally dipped their head in shit and now their senses are dulled.
They expect the rest of reality to match their stupid-ass vision.

Me: "I was going to take my drink with me, but that dipshit thought it would be better to enforce th rules."
Other Person: "Wow, what a dipshit: A person who is dense, and seems to have dipped their entire head into a pile of shit."
Me: "I know, right? That's some textbook shit right there."