splang

A splang is another name for a cannabis joint. Probably a mix of the words 'spliff' and 'jang', can also be lengthened to 'splaringe' if the speaker is going out of their way to be obscure.

"this club is pants, i'm gonna nip outside and skan a splang"

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bang

noun - 'a bang', term referring to a cannabis joint. originated either because it rhymes with splang or because the twisted end of a ken looks like those devil bangers you used to get when you were a nipper

-where's Carl?
-he's on the front step having a bang.

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chippy bastard

a big fatty bum bum, with several sweaty chins and grease stains all down his only top, probably with stripes. can be found any time day or night in any chip shop nationwide, only eats food from the chippy, which he takes back to his mum's house and eats in front of whatever primetime TV shite is on, probably ant and dec. This term can also be used to describe any scummy munter who walks around swinton in her pyjama bottoms at 8 o'clock at night with a fish dinner or two tucked under her arm and her giro in her back pocket, tripping over her earrings.

'bastard' can be changed for anything you like, chippy twat, chippy fuck, chippy cunt, chippy cow.

also, swap 'chippy' for 'pub' and instantly describe any beer bellied, strawberry nosed old fart in a leather jacket he's had since he was 18, who lives in the vault of some dirty low rate public house. He probably has massively strong, gold rimmed bifocal glasses the size of the sunday times or a flat cap and a comb-over, or loads of gold bracelets and chains and sovereigns even Run DMC would shy away from. He even has a pub name like 'jukebox-john' or 'jack the van' or 'vinegar vera' if it's a woman.

"ha, john's got a bag of meat pies the chippy bastard"

"leanne, that's the third time this week you've had pie and chips you fucking chippy cow"

"mike's gone and got 'MAM' tattooed on his forearm, he looks like a right pub cunt"

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ken's lettuce

cannabis, as in the vegetation of mr ken boon, also know as 'fruit of the boon'

"keep it quiet but i've got a bit of ken's lettuce in my coat pocket for later"

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Ken

1. scotch word meaning 'know'

2. cannabis, an abbreviation of "ken's lettuce"

3. a male of african heritage; mr.Boon

"there's a Ken selling some ken outside, i got some and now i'm going for a ken, you ken?"

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fish tan

dried up jizz on the skin of a lady, so called because it makes the skin look scaley like a fish, and also changes the skin tone, like a tan

"suzy is a scruffy cow, i gave her a pearl necklace last night and she went to bed without getting a shower so she woke up with a fish tan"

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