crump

a perennial failure. a person who snatches defeat from the jaws of victory despite the odds being stacked in their favour.

AC Milan are 3-0 up at half time in the champions league final, it's in the bag!

after the match- 'how have they managed to Crump that up?'

potwatch

when your fat mate starts losing weight putting you at risk of becoming the fat mate, you alert everyone so that they can all lose weight asap.

Fucks sake, Potter dropped a 1kg bomb on me. Gonna have to start a potwatch.

BOC's

Acronym for Bag Of Cunt's

This term is specifically used to describe an underachieving sports team.

The term can also be used to describe a team that you have placed a bet on, and are inexplicably letting you down and costing you some serious cool.

Example 1

Tony: "if Chelsea beat Stoke i will win £250"

Chelsea immediately concede a goal

Tony: "fucking BOC's!"

Example 2

Mark: "Villa will never beat Spurs"

Tony: "Why Not?"

Mark: "BOC's arent they..."

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Cool

A new way to describe your currency

Having lots of cool (money) allows you to do cool shit

There are many different 'types' of cool

Sensible Cool- the type of cool used to pay bills, buy food and other boring shit.

Degenerate Cool- the best type of cool ever, this is for drinking, gambling and hookers

Timely Cool- birthday cool and tax rebates

There are also a few Cool Rules,

Rule 1: Timely Cool can be converted into Degenerate Cool at any time, but not Sensible Cool.

Rule 2: You may allocate 20 percent of your monthly salary into Sensible Cool but once you have run out your fucked, even if you have 3kool sitting in you Degenerate Cool account.

Rule 3: Never accidentally call your Cool "money", "pounds", "dollars" ect and if you do, immediately apologise for your error and use the term Cool in a sentence as soon as possible in order to fully rectify your mistake.

dude goes into bank

Dude: "id like to transfer all of my sensible cool into my degenerate cool account please"

Cashier: "certainly sir, you sound like an awesome guy, i wish i was your friend"

Another dude goes into bank

Dude "I'd like to transfer all my degenerate cool into my Sensible Cool account"

Cashier "Fuck Off"

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