Mensa

A group for douchebags who really, REALLY feel the need to pay a yearly fee to know that they're better than everyone else. Mensa members blame the "general public" who can't get accepted for accusations of their organization being riddled with douchebaggery and stupidity, but seem to forget that they are just under 0.018% of the American population, and the 2% of the population that CAN join hasn't for a reason.

On their "Join" page, there's a cute video of Leif Gantvoort telling you how easy it is to get into Mensa. He smiles, saying, "I will get into an argument with my wife and she'll call me an idiot -- that's when I whip out my Mensa card," proving to the world that he is a shaggy haired-walking pair of dick and balls. He brings another fellow ball of 19 year old afterbirth on the screen, who says that all members teach. This seems promising until dick and balls drops a load on the it, saying sarcastically, "I'm pretty sure it's a coincidence her last name is 'Wise.'"

An Asian cuckold appears on the screen, the "Mr. Mensa" of 2010. This creampie-eating dick and balls licker is so gracious that amazing people like Peter Bainbridge, a prominent Mensa member who is most often remember for referring to people with IQs of 60 as "carrots" (effectively insulting every disabled individual or individual with an actual moral code), his friend. You should be glad that you'll get some friends, because I promise you that when you join Mensa, you'll need them.

"While I qualify to join Mensa, I don't feel the need to pay an outrageous official Mensa test and yearly fee. I'd rather save my money, invest it, or spend it on something related to my field of interest rather than talk to a room full of pseudo-experts for an hour every week."

"Mensa has over 200 Special Interest Groups, from biology to psychology!" "That's incredible! I've heard that the Internet has over 7.5 billion groups tailored to your interests, from molecular biology in a cabin made from spruce logs to the psychology of snuff films when shown to kittens. Plus, you get the same experience of being ruthlessly lied to about accomplishments!"

"I'm sorry, you're denying me access to this VIP event? Maybe you haven't seen my... ...MENSA CARD?!" "My apologies, sir. I recognize that you are an extremely important individual because you have paid to be in a club that advertises as being 'easier than ever' to enter. Here, take this cat o' nine tail whip to lash me forty times as I kick out Bill Gates from his luxury box and fetch you some champagne. After all, you are one of the most elite forms of humans- a member of Mensa."

"God-doesn't-exist, I have been declared the chosen one! Mensa has selected me for their top-secret exclusive organization! This is a once in a lifetime chance! Now all I have to do is wait for my check to clear." ~Every Mensa Member Ever

"Wow, Bob, you joined Mensa? Funny, I thought you'd be smart enough to know that money can't buy you friends."

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