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Interestingly, the Spanish use of the word mensa (female) or menso (male)generally denotes someone who is crazy or stupid.
"No seas menso".... Don't be crazy. Or, "mensa, yo te dije que no lo hicieras"... stupid, I told you not to do it.
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The Gentlemen's room in a Greek Restaurant
I gotta hit the Mensa, I'm prairie doggin'
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A society for people with high IQs, which they define as being within the top 2% of the "general population." It is a haven for snobbish elitists who feel that it is their God-given right to belittle people who aren't as "smart" as they are (see: mensa troll, asshole, and superiority complex). In fact, the average Mensa gathering is just an exclusionist circle jerk where people talk about how goddamn smart they are and how stupid everyone else is, usually with a glass of brandy in one hand and a copy of Aristotle in the other (monocle and pretentious goatee optional). Beware when encountering a Mensa member on the street; if he does not eye you with contempt and shove past you in a huff, he will shove his status as a member down your throat in a long-winded self-aggrandizing monologue.
Me: Hey man, do you have the time?
Mensa Troll: Why, yes I do. But I'm not going to give it to you until you apologize for addressing me in such a crude manner.
Me: Uh... what?
Mensa Troll: Begone, you filthy pissant. My genius cannot be stifled by the suffocating weight of your ignorance.
Me: Ugh. You must be from Mensa...
Mensa Troll: Wow, how did you know?
Me: I dunno, just a feeling...
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A group for douchebags who really, REALLY feel the need to pay a yearly fee to know that they're better than everyone else. Mensa members blame the "general public" who can't get accepted for accusations of their organization being riddled with douchebaggery and stupidity, but seem to forget that they are just under 0.018% of the American population, and the 2% of the population that CAN join hasn't for a reason.
On their "Join" page, there's a cute video of Leif Gantvoort telling you how easy it is to get into Mensa. He smiles, saying, "I will get into an argument with my wife and she'll call me an idiot -- that's when I whip out my Mensa card," proving to the world that he is a shaggy haired-walking pair of dick and balls. He brings another fellow ball of 19 year old afterbirth on the screen, who says that all members teach. This seems promising until dick and balls drops a load on the it, saying sarcastically, "I'm pretty sure it's a coincidence her last name is 'Wise.'"
An Asian cuckold appears on the screen, the "Mr. Mensa" of 2010. This creampie-eating dick and balls licker is so gracious that amazing people like Peter Bainbridge, a prominent Mensa member who is most often remember for referring to people with IQs of 60 as "carrots" (effectively insulting every disabled individual or individual with an actual moral code), his friend. You should be glad that you'll get some friends, because I promise you that when you join Mensa, you'll need them.
"While I qualify to join Mensa, I don't feel the need to pay an outrageous official Mensa test and yearly fee. I'd rather save my money, invest it, or spend it on something related to my field of interest rather than talk to a room full of pseudo-experts for an hour every week."
"Mensa has over 200 Special Interest Groups, from biology to psychology!" "That's incredible! I've heard that the Internet has over 7.5 billion groups tailored to your interests, from molecular biology in a cabin made from spruce logs to the psychology of snuff films when shown to kittens. Plus, you get the same experience of being ruthlessly lied to about accomplishments!"
"I'm sorry, you're denying me access to this VIP event? Maybe you haven't seen my... ...MENSA CARD?!" "My apologies, sir. I recognize that you are an extremely important individual because you have paid to be in a club that advertises as being 'easier than ever' to enter. Here, take this cat o' nine tail whip to lash me forty times as I kick out Bill Gates from his luxury box and fetch you some champagne. After all, you are one of the most elite forms of humans- a member of Mensa."
"God-doesn't-exist, I have been declared the chosen one! Mensa has selected me for their top-secret exclusive organization! This is a once in a lifetime chance! Now all I have to do is wait for my check to clear." ~Every Mensa Member Ever
"Wow, Bob, you joined Mensa? Funny, I thought you'd be smart enough to know that money can't buy you friends."
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Mensa is a totally unbiased organization that has only one prerequisite for entry, an IQ at or above the 98th percentile.
Often knocked by those who have no hope of ever being accepted like Ravenwolf B, it has many SIGs (special interest groups) that offer a change of pace from the normal beer-swilling, bleep-injected conversation found in most sports bars or water cooler banter discussing the previous night's Simpson's episode, the latest video game or wardrobe malfunction on some TV show.
I don't know that the world would be any better off if everyone had a Mensa-like IQ, I just suspect it couldn't be any worse.
Definitions sometimes attributed to the Mensa Dictionary.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who just doesn’t get it
Ostiopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Reintarnation: Coming back in the next life as a hillbilly
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A group of people with high IQs. Ironically these people also pay quite a bit of money to be in this group. There by paying to be told they are intelligent. Which ironically is well...not the least intelligent.
I passed the Mensa Test! To bad I am to intelligent to blow my money on being told what I already know.
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A global scam which administers a test (charging in the range of 18$ to 30$) to see if you "qualify". It then proceeds to charge you a 52$ a year subscription charge. Multiply that times 50,000 members in America alone, I think you get the idea.
Whatever you do, don't let mensa trick you into taking their test.
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