fiverage

A shortened way to allude to the quote by motivational speaker Jim Rohn:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

While accepting the award for greatest human ever, the honoree said,

“I’d like to thank my fiverage,” and pointed to the five people seated in the front row.
“Without them, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today.”

The audience erupted with gleeful cheering.

2👍 1👎

ER Arms

Arms that are so muscular and toned that one punch would send the recipient straight to the emergency room.

Angelo: "Hey bro, step away from my girl!"

Ricky: "Who's gonna make me?!?"

Angelo: "Don't force me to bust out the ER arms!"

sandbox submarine

Cat turd.

Little Billy was building a sandcastle and dug up a sandbox submarine.

"Oh a candy bar!" he thought.

faux home button

The new Home button on the iPhone 7. It's just an indent in the screen glass. On iPhones prior to version 7, the Home button was a physical button that moved when pressed. The faux home button relies on vibration to simulate a press.

Apple Fan: "I love my new iPhone 7!"
Sentimental Person: "I remember when the iPhone had actual buttons! Not that faux home button nonsense..."
Apple Fan: "You're just jealous."