smoke detector

a woman who is in utter denial of her husband's homosexuality and who covers for him when he begins to spark or flame.

Gay Sales Associate: Are you two finding everything ok?
Husband Shopper: These chinos are fabulous! Can you give me a hand with them in the fitting room?
Wife Shopper: (grips husband's hand and says): We're fine thanks.
<Inside Sales Associate's head: Chinos? Fabulous? That guy's a fire hazard, and I think his smoke detector needs to check her batteries.>

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