Phantom Shagger

That unexplained, sudden, sharp anus pain that happens to all humans, for no reason, once a year. And you’ve to catch your breath and try to run away from your own arse.

I think I shit the wrong way or something. I got a phantom shagger just now.

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layup

A word for when you are faced with a certain predicament that must be worked around-- more specifically, a situation that is part impasse, part dilemma. It is an event or other such obstruction that prevents you from achieving a certain goal that usually must be puzzled out in some form or another. Good for situations where words like puzzle would be appropriate, but specifically the kind of puzzle to be found in Zelda games.

Not to be confused with holdup, which is a situation that by most definitions is a conundrum that cannot be solved through one's own power. Also not to be confused with laidup, which is to be incapacitated (usually through sickness or injury), though it is related.

Sorry I'm late, I had a bit of a layup on my way here: traffic was seriously backed up on 43rd, so I had to find another way 'round.

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Shanghaied

Being kidnapped by someone, usually sailors and/or pirates and forced to do sailor work through means of violence and intimidation.

"I'd like to file a police report, my friends were abducted by some sailors, they're being forced to do ship repairs and other stuff or else the sailors will kill 'em!"

"Sir, your friends have been 'shanghaied', we'll notify the Coast Guard."

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non-joke

An anecdote that has the setup of a joke (background info, character introductions), but as it goes on, it is revealed to be an anecdote, usually ending in a serious or somber way; can be described as a form of dark humor in some cases.

A man has a dream where a gorilla steals his banana. He tells his wife about his strange dream. She ignores him completely and goes back to sleep. The man rolls over, and he cries as he realizes his marriage is in shambles. (This is an example of a non-joke)