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a state of complete vagrancy and utter drunkenness
"hey cakey, i thought you were paddy boot earlier you were that mortal"
The act of becoming, and then swiftly unbecoming, âseenâ. Typically occassioned through regular trips to Spar for discreet half bottles of vodka to then slam and become âunseenâ for a prolonged period
âi have just seen the most unseen, high-stepping with a bottle-shaped package and definitely ânot withoutâ, heading south⦠i think he will be living up to his name until at least Monday.
a golspie trooper, a cunt of extreme proportiona
just travelled on the A9 and seen a whole load og Sutherland cocksuckers in the Stags Head
the promise of a very short timebound trip that inevitably becomes an event that far surpasses even paddy bootâs expectations
âits a bank holiday this weekend so iâm off to the co-op for a dozen loaves of bread⦠iâm gonna nip to the braes for a half on the way backâ
(12 hours later, wakes up in spearchuckers to the sound of guitar playing)
a genuine interest as to the health of a man's penis
hey ronnie, how's your whippy today - did the cream you bought off marketplace do the trick?
the guarantee of copious volumes of free merchandise that never ever materialises
Billy: âHey George, Iâm starting at Campbellâs next week, Iâll be able to get you a freezer-full of fishâ
20 years later
Jake: âGeorge, did you get billyâs fishâ?
George: âAbsolutely fuck all, not even a fucking prawn. Freezer is still full of airâ
black-coloured stones, sold on the pretence of being combustible coal
âHey Wong, iâm paying you for coal you arsehole and youâve given me coalstones, I may as well set fire to a brickâ