2 and 4 crowd

At a concert, a hip audience is known as a 2 and 4 crowd (as opposed to a 1 and 3 crowd). It refers to the beat that the crowd is likely to clap along to.

Bob: "Man great audience tonight, we were rockin'"
Mick: "Yeah man, they were definitely a 2 and 4 crowd!"

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Cheesemaker

A man with an uncircumcised penis.

So called because, if unwashed, the region between the head of the penis and the uncircumcised skin could develop a sweaty, smelly residue - a bit like smelly cheese.

Paul was glad he wasn't a cheesemaker because he only washed once a week.

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Hollywood fuck-off

The polite way of telling you that you suck. Used in showbiz and delivered with a smile so that you are blissfully unaware of the truth until you have time to contemplate what has been delivered.

Record company exec: "you guys are really great.....really, here's your card back we'll call you."
Wannabe 1: "hey man I think he likes us."
Wannabe 2: "no way dude that was totally a hollywood fuck-off - we sucked."

Record company exec: "I really loved what you were trying to do there"
Wannabe 1: "hey man he really likes us."

.... you get the idea.

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L.A. fuck-off

The show business "polite" rejection that is cleverly phrased to sound like a compliment - always said with a smile despite having the opposite intention. Also known as the Hollywood fuck-off.

Here are some L.A. fuck-offs

"Here's your card back, I'll call you."

"I really like what you're trying to do here."

"No....really, you sound great."

"No....really, your band sounds great."

"NEXT!"

"keep doing THAT and your phone will stop ringing"

"we'll call you."

etc. etc.

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Mall fatigue

The feeling experienced prior to christmas day when you simply can't continue shopping due to excessive tiredness, confusion and anxiety. Usually triggered by many hours spent in shopping malls, mall fatigue will cause you make bad consumer decisions in an attempt to finish quickly and escape the horror of the christmas shopping rush.

Shopper 1: "I simply can't go on. I think I have mall fatigue."
Shopper 2: "I can tell - your eyes are red and you can't walk in a straight line."
Shopper 1: "I know. Make it stop!"

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next

The statement you use when someone clearly has no talent and/or is unworthy of praise, status or limelight of any sort.
Generally used in a showbiz context and applied when an act really stinks.

Mick: "man, that guy's act really sucks"
Bob: "right on; to that person I say - NEXT!!!"

or -

Jed: "I can't believe they can show this stuff and get away with it. It stinks."
Laura: "you're right let's go. NEXT!!"

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Coffeeing

To be enjoying coffee either alone or with someone. Taking time out to have coffee.

Hi Pete, sorry I'm late I was coffeeing with Holly.

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