musdouche

noun, MUS-doosh, a douchey mustache. Usage is subjective but generally refers to a thin, closely cropped mustache.

1st guy: Have you seen Kyle?

2nd guy: Yeah. Looks like he's trying to grow a musdouche. LOL.

FAIL Express

Also, FailEx. Getting a delivery from FAIL Express means you get fail when you absolutely, positively DO NOT need it.

Etymology: A fictional version of Federal Express/FedEx that only delivers fail.

She thought everything was OK until FAIL Express delivered her pregnancy test.

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cuntentious

the state of being for a woman where she picks fights with men for no apparent reason. Her unfocused wrath is usually directed at all men but those closed to her will be on the receiving end of most of her shit.

So I went to buy a paper and saw that it was the last one. Before I could put my money in the slot, this cuntentious bitch walks over and tells me to fuck myself because it was her paper. As I was walking away she was mumbling some shit about how men weren't good enough to lick dog shit off of her shoes.

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google god

Someone who can find the most relevant but obscure information with a single, powerful search string. The sort of person the "I feel lucky" button was meant for.

I couldn't find anything on the effects of trade with the West on the economy of 18th century Japan, but Bob got it in one try. He is a google god.

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crank booger

The waxy buildup in your nose that you get from snorting some weak ass shit that your "cool" friend got for you. It results from dope being stepped on so many times that it basically becomes a homeopathic remedy rather than a drug.

'Honey, you should blow your nose before we go out. You've got some crank boogers.'

MOBO

Mojo on Back Order.

It means you are too tired to live and will actually do something when they deliver your new energy pack, fuel cell or whatever.

dude #1: Why haven't you fixed my computer yet man?

dude #2: Get off my dress bitch, MOBO

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sphincterror

Used to describe a load so epically massive that one's sphincter clamps shut in an attempt to block its passage. Ultimately, this fails and just when you try to force it out, your sphincter surrenders to the inevitable. The enormous girth combined with the force exerted results in a painful (and sometimes audible) ripping sensation.

The sphincter learns from this experience and will clamp shut even tighter the next time. There are unconfirmed reports of microscopic diamonds being formed from the intense pressure.

The most astounding characteristic of the sphincterror is the complete loss of any will to brag about or display the result of this "achievement."

girl: you were in there a long time. Do you feel better?

guy: lips quiver in an attempt to speak

girl: oh no! Tell me it wasn't a sphincterror!!!