shitistics

calculating the mass of someones life time shit production based on their diet and health

Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.

Titistics

Titistics is all about calculating and measuring the mass of someone's tig ole bitties based on the cup size and severity of back pain they suffer from.

You might be wondering, what kind of tiddies are considered big? Well, based on lots of published data and the results from my extensive studies, I would say that people with a cup size over D or a bra size over 18 could be categorized as having large chesticles, with all other sized titties considered average or small. But fret not, because we love tits of all shapes and different sizes. Some of my favourites include Cinnamon-breasted tits, Elegant tits (loads of these reside in the Philippines), Japanese tits and I can't forget those gorgeous African blue tits, saw lots of those at Tenerife once!

With all that out of the way, let's focus on the back pain. My research over the years indicates that people with breast cups size D and above tend to have greater curvatures of the spine and poorer postures than small-breasted people. In some severe cases this can cause Scoliosis or Kyphosis. What's the difference? Well Scoliosis is a sideways curve of your spine, often taking the shape of a letter S or C. Kyphosis is more of a forward rounding of the back, which leads to you looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Another one of my studies found how prior to breast reduction surgery, half of 179 test subjects with size DD breasts or above had almost constant pain in their back, neck or shoulders. After carefully removing most of the excess titty mass (as if there could be too much of it), their pains relieved within 3 weeks or less. This is my experience in Titistics.