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A male in Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series.
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"
Right, then.
Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.
Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.
P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.
My girlfriend is currently trying to remove my nipple for trying to post this entry on the fag, Edward Cullen.
Ow! My Edward Colon!
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Edward Cullen:
What do *I* say to that? Well, for starters, he's--most arguably--the oldest virgin in the history of the oldest virgins every recorded. Somehow, I can't understand how he has pale skin but goes into the sun and fucking SPARKLES. How the fuck do you sparkle with pale skin? I'm pretty sure even that Count Dracula himself can't answer that...
Anywho, as Bella may see him as "kind", "caring", "stubborn"... Poor girl. For an "intelligent" person, you sure are one DUMB retard. Edward is ABUSIVE! He is insecure, Bella! Look it up!
Who the hell watches you sleep at night(and you don't even know the motherfucker, either)? Who the hell contemplates suicide when he can't have the one he loves?
...Right.
Anywho, seeing as Edward Cullen is the prettiest "vampire" EVER, I suppose fangirls would take an immediate disliking to this. (Like I give a damn...)
Anyway, Edward lives out his pathetically "gorgeous" life with his vampire lover/toy Bella and their daughter, the spawn of satan, Rene-- ...I give up trying to pronounce her name.
Retarded Fangirl: Like OMG! Twilight has a happy ending! Edward Cullen issofuckinghotlikeOMGIcan'ttakeitanymore!
Sensible Person: Yeah, uh...Shut the hell up.
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Sparkley sugar daddy (Old men who like to spoil their young girlfriends) that is a peeping tom and has an un-natural obsession with a rather clingy girl.
"Screw Edward Cullen, I support Cedric Diggory"
"Edward Cullen is a great example of dirty old men you usually meet over the internet"
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Edward Cullen meets Squidward from Spongebob. Good term to use if you are a Twilighter who does not take yourself too seriously, or, better yet, one who absolutely detests Stephenie Meyer and finds Edward to be somewhat, well, squid-faced.
Psh, yeah, would you shut up about Squidward Cullen or whoever it is you're obsessed with these days?
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1. FICTIONAL sparkly pansy vampire whose only purpose of being is to drop the panties of any girl dumb enough to actually think this fuck is romantic and sexy.
2. Stephanie Meyer's dream man. She fucks him in her sleep because she doesn't get enough loving from her family.
3. Abusive vampire thing who is apparently made of stone or marble or some sort of beautiful white rock.
1. OH EDWARD CULLEN, TAKE ME NOW BECAUSE I'M 13 AND STUPID!!!1!!1ONEONEONE!!11!1!1
2. Stephanie Meyer: TAKE ME NOW, EDWARD CULLEN! MARRY ME!!!!
3. Guy: "How'd you get that bruise?"
Twitard: "I was reading Twilight and I was just so turned on by Edward Cullen that I just HAD to bruise myself too! He's cold like marble, you know."
Guy: ".....I'm not fucking you ever."
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A character from the "hit" series of books Twilight. I personally only know a couple things about him, such as the fact that he defies all laws of vampirism. First of all, he walks in the daylight, he only feeds on animals (which apparently makes him a vegetarian vampire). 99.9% of readers of the Twilight books see him as the "perfect man." I see many problems with him. First of all is the fact that he isn't real, which most girls cannot get through their heads. Second, from what I've heard he stalked Bella, before they even started talking. I've also heard he is extremely jealous of every man who likes Bella. Last time I checked, the perfect guy wasn't jealous. Most girls talk constantly about how he's so sexy, which is kind of disturbing considering the fact that he's just ink on paper. People were saying stuff like that before they had a guy for the movie. Which makes it more disturbing.
Me: I'm so bored
Twilight Fan Girl: EDWARD CULLEN!!! AHH!!!
Me: Where did that come up?
Twilight Fan Girl: He's so sexy!!!
Me: He defies the law of Vampirism
Twilight Fan Girl: So?
Me: He's also just a fictional character
Twilight Fan Girl: SO!!! He Could Be! You should be more like him!!!
Me: Yeah it's so sexy how he bites your neck and you bleed it out on your bed.
Twilight Fan Girl: No he only eats animals!!!
Me: So its sexy when he bites your dog?
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A one-hundred year old, abusive, sparkling fairy who sneaks into teenage girl's rooms by oiling their windows.
You: I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and Edward Cullen was sitting there watching me sleep!
Me: Oh my god, what a pedophile.
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