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A game played by terribly bored teenagers. The typical scenario involves being alone in one's room, erection in hand. The participant then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. The player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.
A rainy day in middle class English suburbia. One nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect penis in one hand, Kleenex in the other. He clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.
"MUM!!"
The game of panic wank begins.
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Stains of busted nuts from multiple wank sessions. Typically in the form of dried up nut. The kind your mom finds in the carpet, on bed sheets, in a gak towel or in a tube sock.
Mom: What is all this flakey, crusty stuff in your sock? This thing could stand on its own.
Son: It’s just my wank-stains. Don’t wash it. I like the rough feel.
Mom: You sound like your father.
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Using the 'Force' to elicit free goods fom a person or persons/business or otherwise. The duplicit nature will often invoke an orgasm of the mind.
Bernard just got that squid for free! Colin Kemp: Its not a squid its powdered, but yeah it was free i force-wanked him.
How the bollocks did you do that? Force Wanking Doh!!...
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Quick and intense self gratification, usually performed spontaneously anywhere, outside or at work. Once aroused by erotic stimuli ie. co worker, billboard model or you just have too...
Arthur became aroused watching the laundry go round, a commando wank was the only answer.
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A secluded place where one goes to browse porn and masturbate. One will often not emerge for some time. Sometimes referred to as a ‘Man Cave’.
I’ve just lost my job so I spend most of my days sealed in my wank tomb.
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The act of masturbation in which the climax, being an orgasm or ejaculation, is perfectly in sync with some sort of auction (eBay etc).
Created at around the very beginning of eBay, in London, when auctions became affiliated with computer systems. The year of 1995.
'Hey guys, last night I had the best Auction Wank! I came just as I won my new wardrobe!'
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Lube your sexual partners Arse cheeks plus crack..while you lay back and have them wank of your erection using there cheeks without anus penetration.
Can't believe my luck when I got home to find my missus with Arse cheeks ready lubed for a ruddy good Arse wank
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