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A game played by terribly bored teenagers. The typical scenario involves being alone in one's room, erection in hand. The participant then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. The player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.
A rainy day in middle class English suburbia. One nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect penis in one hand, Kleenex in the other. He clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.
"MUM!!"
The game of panic wank begins.
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A secluded place where one goes to browse porn and masturbate. One will often not emerge for some time. Sometimes referred to as a ‘Man Cave’.
I’ve just lost my job so I spend most of my days sealed in my wank tomb.
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Stains of busted nuts from multiple wank sessions. Typically in the form of dried up nut. The kind your mom finds in the carpet, on bed sheets, in a gak towel or in a tube sock.
Mom: What is all this flakey, crusty stuff in your sock? This thing could stand on its own.
Son: It’s just my wank-stains. Don’t wash it. I like the rough feel.
Mom: You sound like your father.
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To be so cold while jacking it off that your genitalia becomes frosty, giving you a unique tingling feeling.
Jimmy had a frosty wank in his backyard while watching Joe bang his brand new drum in the snow.
Jimmy: Your drum playing is really making me want to have a frosty wank.
Joe: I'll bang it harder then
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The gesture of masturbating in the air, invariably male in orientation, and usually expressing a lack of impression or excitement. Often shown with asterisks bracketing indicating action, like so:
*air-wank*
Not to be confused with *air-rub*.
A: I'll bet you five bucks you can't get a date with that fat chick over there.
B: *air-wank* Are you kidding me? I've got a whole cooler full of Ben & Jerry's in the car when the truffles in my pocket run out.
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The Tiny bladder that contains sperm. Alledged to only hold enough for around 7 wanks.
7 also being the mystical number of wanks before you hit the "wank barrier"
"I got up to seven wanks tonight but I just couldn't cum no more!...Think I emptied the wank bladder!"
Or:
"I tried to get past seven wanks but hit the wank barrier"
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The act of masturbation in which the climax, being an orgasm or ejaculation, is perfectly in sync with some sort of auction (eBay etc).
Created at around the very beginning of eBay, in London, when auctions became affiliated with computer systems. The year of 1995.
'Hey guys, last night I had the best Auction Wank! I came just as I won my new wardrobe!'
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