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A person with an attention span less than one second due to chronic masturbation, video gaming and schnauzer banging as a youth. People with this condition can't even commit to taking a shit when they are already on the toilet. The only way to grab their attention is to talk about fakies, jeeps, weed or seven different kinds of smoke.
Brah, my boss's attention deficit douchebag disorder (ADDB) is off the charts. He was spanking his monkey the other day and he forgot what he was doing!
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Post Potter Shock Disorder. A person with PPSD suffers from psychological shock and numbness to the realization that Harry Potter is truly over. Symptoms of PPSD may include:
-Drawing a lightning bolt on one's forehead or, in more extreme cases, self-inflicting an actual scar
-Re-reading the entire series in the hope that an eighth book will magically appear, then crying when it isn't there.
-Watching all 8 movies in one day
-Staying in the theater long after the credits for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two roll, staring at the screen with a zombie-like expression.
-Constantly quoting the books and/or movies, and shouting spells during moments of need
-Calling up other Potter-heads and discussing their inability to believe that it is over
-Feeling as if their best friend who grew up with them has died
-Planning Harry Potter related events
-Having a strong urge to recreate the movies, film parodies, or write a sequel series.
See that kid over there writhing on the floor crying and hugging a Harry Potter book? Yeah man, he totally has PPSD: Post Potter Shock Disorder.
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Being completely obsessed with Edward Cullen and the Twilight Saga.
My friend Jayne has Obsessive Compulsive Edward Cullen Disorder. She does nothing but talk about Edward Cullen
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Post-dramatic sex disorder (PDSD) may develop after a person is exposed to one or more erotic encounters, such as a 3-way, being bound, spanked, gagged, hooded or overstimulated when having safe, enjoyable, life changing sex. The diagnosis may be given when a group of symptoms, such as stimulating recurring flashbacks, daydreaming or holding onto exciting memories of the event, and sexual arousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of the dramatic or erotic event. Most people having experienced a dramatic or erotic event will not develop PDSD. People who experience a major orgasm, are dominated, extorted or coerced into the encounter are more likely to develop PDSD, as opposed to people who experience vanilla sex or merely watch pornography.
Me: I keep dropping my phone . . . It's because of my sweaty palms.
Him: Why are your palms are all sweaty?
Me: It's Post-Dramatic Sex Disorder (PDSD) from being spit-roasted by you and your friend last week.
Him: Oh, I meant to tell you . . . he is on his way.
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SWOD (Summer Walker Obsession Disorder) Describes the unhealthy hate obsession with R&B singer Summer Walker resulting in inserting her in situations she has nothing to do with, spreading hate towards her for no reason, or spreading Fake News. Usually done by SZA fans or Normani Fans.
“Oh my God, Summer listened to SZA’s new song now it’ll flop because of Summer Curse”
“Summer Walker has worms for brains”
“Summer Walker is so dumb”
“Girl shut up! Your SWOD (Summer Walker Obsession Disorder) gets annoying.
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The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
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Random Rambling and Spontaneity Disorder, also known as RRSD, is a social disorder in which an infected person suffers from excessive oral diarrhea, confused thoughts and impulsive actions.
RRSD is highly contagious, and is transmitted through any form of communication. It affects mainly people between the ages of 10 to 30.
So far no cure has been found, but many studies are being performed to find the cure to this horribly awkward and uncomfortable disease.
The disease was discovered on May 29th, 2011, by two high school students in Portland, Oregon.
Joe: "Hi my name is Joe, what's your name, wow I like your shoes, is it getting hot in here? I think I'm wearing too many sweaters, do I look fat in this shirt, WOAH it is really hot in here!"
Doctor: "I do believe this man has Random Rambling and Spontaneity Disorder (RRSD)."
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