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My mom caught me masturbating for the first time. I was in second grade. I was sitting on my bed. curiously touching my penis. My mom walked in the room and saw. She sat down next to me on my bed where I was fapping. With my penis still out, she started to have some sort of parental conversation with me. She was confusing me, with such weird talk about "condoms" or whatever she called it. She smirked softly, then she put her hand on my dick. I was scared and confused. I've only seen these kinda things on television. She then told me "sh, everythings going to be all right. I was pretty nervous. She started to slowly stroke my dick, as I moaned quietly under my breath "mom.." As she increased her speed slightly, my dick started to twitch. I accidentally peed on mom. "Why is my pee white" "this is called cum, sweetheart. It's what happens when you see a very pretty lady, and she touches you here." Mom lays me on my back. "Hush dear, its going to be alright" She takes her pants off. She then removes her panties. "This is a vagina. Its what you put your peepee into." Before i knew it, i was fucking mom. "Oh my gosh, mom, this feels so amazing!" "Oh yeah, right there, cum in my pussy OHH" her hips started to furiously sway against my dick "Ohh mom, im cumming!" "OHHHH"
birb: *shitposts some Group Sex//Inbred Humanity lol*
me: ok you fucking ass of a child
everyone else: ok you fucking ass of a child, u still cute tho uwu
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Term used to express ones affection for another person.
Hello my Sex kitty thonga longa, you look lovely today.
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This occurs when men go into their dating apps and change all of their settings to ONLY target Asian women. This will allow the male to acquire Asians at scale and set up multiple dating opportunities in a short period of time.
This strategy works best when it is executed by a white male over 6 feet tall in a large metropolitan area.
Person 1 - Hey man I'm working on a Geo-Targeted Asian Sex Consolidation. I'm hoping for good results.
Person 2 - Dude we're in San Francisco - there are Asians everywhere! You are going to clean up!
An arbitrary way of 'scoring' your life and determining whether you are enjoying a good time or in a 'trough.'
Nominally, death may correspond to -10 where 0 or below indicates psychological distress. A score below -10 is possible if you are so suicidal you havent got the energy to go through with the act. (DONT DO IT CALL THE SAMARITANS!)
A score of 25 indicates sex, with 35 mindblowingly good sex.
How are you?
I'm 17 on the sex death positioning scale!
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Shows that the caller has his penis in a vice by the call reciever.
Paul is making the after sex phone call.
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"sounds like sex to me" or "SLSTM" is a comment added after something non-sexual has been said that could be interpreted sexually. Similar to "that's what she said" - only more versatile.
Tom: "I kept bouncing up and down"
Phil: "Sounds like sex to me!"
*laughter*
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29th of July
The day where you and another person have oral sex
Harry: It’s national oral sex day today
Amy: OMG wanna have oral sex
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