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Vikings who will apologize about getting ash and blood on your new carpet as they rape/pillage/kill your house/family/village.
After killing my grandad by bludgeoning him to death with the cat, Oloff gave a shrug and grunt to kinda say "whoops, my bad" after he saw the massive amounts of blood splatter. Of course, he then proceeded to steal all my silver and make off with my wife. Regardless, he stood out among his peers as one of those vikings with manners.
30👍 3👎
Throwing something of sentimental value out the window of a moving car. Usually this item's time has passed, its broke, or it is used up. Items often given the viking burial include empty lighters, broken bowls, small pets, and electronics.
Dude 1: Dude, this lighter is dead.
Dude 2: What? Really? Well, that was my favorite Bic with the poker chips on it. Fuck it give it the viking burial.
Dude 1: (Chucks lighter out window on the interstate)
50👍 7👎
having loud aggressive sex regardless of who is around or where you are. Also encouraged sounding a Norse horn to sound the impending penetration.
Every time I hear Gjallarhorn I know to get out of the apartment quick because my roommate is about to have Viking Sex whether I am there or not.
45👍 6👎
A contraceptive method dating back to the Vikings.
When having sex with a wench who is unsuitable to bear his children, the Viking pulls out and ejaculates on his knuckles then proceeds to punch the wench in the face.
Mike: so what happened with that chick you took home?
Mark: oh not much...we had sex for a while, but i was too lazy to put a condom on, so I ended up just giving her the old viking hammer...
Mike: Pow! Right in the kisser!
53👍 9👎
When two heterosexual men express their deep bromance by rubbing there awesome beards together.
After not seeing my good friend for along while we embraced and gave each other a big ol' Viking Kisses.
When one sheds tears with a straight face, providing no other indication that what they've experienced has shaken them physically or emotionally.
"Viking tears make you look sensitive, yet strong; have you ever seen that Crying Indian commercial from 1970? Dude was totally crying viking tears"
"Disney movies make me cry, but I don't want to look like a wuss about it, so instead of bawling my eyes out, I shed viking tears. They are the type of tears for men with beards."
A bored suburban male teenager (often a WASP) who finds delight in the finer arts of barbarism, such as: burglary, arson and senseless vandalism. Sometimes the Suburban Viking actually gets good at what he does, but ultimately gets caught for a stupid reason.
Did you hear the Suburban Viking got caught over winter break?
Yeah, he got five years probation!
26👍 3👎