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Random
When a guy anal fucks a chick in a Santa costume.
For Christmas I did Santa's bells with my girlfriend.
A shot of rumplemintz
I was down in Siesta Key and it was so hot I needed to order a shot of Santa’s Dick to cool off.
When you’re raw dogging a chick from behind, bust a phat load inside of her, then spit on her back so she’s not suspicious.
John was bombed so when he accidentally shot his load inside Sarah, he busted the Santa Barbara Pullout and she was none the wiser.
When a female with long pubes braids little Christmas bells into them, so that when she's taking a full length on Christmas Eve, the kids run in, excited and ready to see Santa because they hear bells jingling, only to find their mother copping some hot Christmas pork in her moist pudding.
Guy friend: "Hey what did you and Susan get up to on Christmas Eve?"
Guy: "Oh she helped a brother out with a Santa's Hairy Lay."
A really pretty person that can make you smile nonstop without knowing. She’s really pretty, even if you don’t know her irl. She can be loving, and can maje you smile through the screen. I talk about her so much, even my irl friends know about her. I love her so much <3 She makes people feel happy about themselves, and she can’t talk bad about people. She’s really caring when it’s about you. She’s the best person I’ve ever met in my entire life. She makes me feel so well about myself, and she can be wholesome too. Sometimes I just want to tell her “Marry me” but she’d respond with “I’m loyal, I’m married to @durex” </3 She still is a person you can really trust, and that you must love :))
You can’t just hate her. She’s way too cute for this <3
I love her so much, not even words explain my expressions right now. I feel so special whenever getting all those Good night texts or Good morning texts. They make me feel so loved, so supported, they make me feel something I’ve never felt /pos
Samanta, if you’re reading this
I love you so much <33
Me: Omg I’ve stayed up until 4 AM this time talking to someone
Irl friend: Was it Samanta or Santa, however you call her?
Me: Yeah, how did you know?
Irl friend: You always talk to her until it’s really late. I want what you and Samanta have
A Santa that forgets his gloves at the strip club, so he has to borrow an elf’s blue gloves.
We heard Santa exclaim as he flew out sight, “I left my gloves at the damn strip club last Friday night,” but Daniel the elf came tip toeing by and brought Santa a pair of his blue ones to try (blue gloved santa).
Unless he went back to the South pole, there's already been a Black Santa Claus before now, and it hasn't been remarkable news. Black Santa Claus was the Santa Claus that got shit done a few years ago, but with the Derek Chauvin versus George Floyd and similar incidents, Black Santa Claus might have said Fuck Christmas Nobody Acted Right last year (2020). By now Black Jesus and Black Santa Claus aren't new, 50 years ago their existence might have been shocking some people.
Black Santa Claus made it to TV a few years ago, but it seemed like people forgot about Christmas and any version of Santa Claus last year. Lotsf Cristians who celebrate Christmas are black, so t would only make sense that the one bringing them presents was Black Santa Claus. It would make more sense for Black Jesus to be the one to save their soul, not a guy that looks like the one that kneeled on their neck for almost 10 minutes. That guy looks more like the antichrist to them than Jesus.