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Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.

Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.

by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020


Chronic Masturbation

When you are a socially inep involuntarily celibate due to poor dating and social skills, and sees porn every day and leaving cum stains everywhere in your house nonstop, as a way to cope with loneliness. Never goes out, doesn't exercise nor does improve social skills, and yet this special type of breeds can usually be found moderating around Discord, Tumblr, and Reddit as power-hungry mods or working remotely in a part-time job as a twitter moderator.

Jerry never finds a way to prevent chronic masturbation. He clearly didn't recover after getting rejected by Stacy for not being himself a Chad, as he believes.

by TheKamikazeMonkeys February 28, 2023


ASHIPIN masturbation

ASHIPIN masturbation is a technique that involves stretching both legs to bring you closer to orgasm.

He used to do ASHIPIN masturbation a pot.

by Hoevarun June 17, 2022


Cellular Masturbation

A person who plays on their cellphone while on the toilet

I think there is cellular masturbation going on in the stall over because he is laughing for no reason whatsoever.

by jondich February 2, 2021


The Fisher Masturbator

An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.

Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?

by L*na August 2, 2022


The Fisher Masturbator

An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.

Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?

by L*na August 2, 2022


Masturb-planner

Guys on gay hookup sites who get off on the idea of man-on-man sex, but are afraid actually do it. Instead, they message guys and masturbate while "planning" a hookup (where, when, who's going to do what to whom). Once they get off, they disappear (either go offline or delete profile) only to re-appear a few days or weeks later to do it again.

"Had another masturb-planner message me on Grindr today. Disappeared after I told him I was totally into all the things he liked, I have a 10" dick and was free now"

by Frenetic1 June 5, 2023