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An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.
Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?
Guys on gay hookup sites who get off on the idea of man-on-man sex, but are afraid actually do it. Instead, they message guys and masturbate while "planning" a hookup (where, when, who's going to do what to whom). Once they get off, they disappear (either go offline or delete profile) only to re-appear a few days or weeks later to do it again.
"Had another masturb-planner message me on Grindr today. Disappeared after I told him I was totally into all the things he liked, I have a 10" dick and was free now"
A moment of masturbation occurs when a person reaches orgasm after approximately 90 seconds of masturbation.
Person 1: damn bro you shat quite swiftly
Person2: that's because i didn't shit, i had a moment of masturbation
The event in which one individual endures a stomach ache while attempting to masturbate.
John: "I had a Poopy Fart Masturbation happen to me last night."
Andrew: "Tf?"
This is the plan you make when you have limited time to jerk it. Especially applicable when someone living with you may return at any moment, or could walk in on you. Its having the cursor over the x , having something to cover your junk quickly, having another tab to click to etc. How to cover up the fact you were j-ing off quickly if someone were to come in.
Bro my girl was supposed to be gone all day and she came back early and caught me beating my meat. I fucked up not having a masturbation escape plan.
The very essence of UBC Computer Science professors. Unfortunately this disorder passes onto its top students as well.
You need to pay each of the masturbation professors a total whopping sum of 1 million dollars per course per term as they masturbate on both the male and female instagram profiles of their students and talk incoherently in lectures just to pass time and disorient their prey.
Religious Masturbation.
Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.
A religious leader preaching to the saved
Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.
The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved