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When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.
David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat”
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”
Someone who can masturbate secretly in public.
I'm a masturbation Legend because I got off in my CCD teacher's office.
something that does not exist like your dad
Joe "When is must masturbate may?"
Jeff "When your dad comes back."
Joe cries
The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.
Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...
Talking just to please yourself.
Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.
A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.