I can dig some grease while chompin' on some buns and draggin' through the garden

Phrase meaning "I'll have the fish"

Flight Attendant: What can I get for you, sir?

Man: I can dig some grease while chompin' on some buns and draggin' through the garden.

Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, we're all out of fish...

86👍 49👎

I eat my cereal with water because my dad never came back with the milk

The meaning of the father not bringing back milk is a very sad story. I have no idea why it's called milk, but when a dad breaks up with his family and leaves his partner, he'll say that he's going to the store to buy milk but then he never comes back. Depression spirals. You have a mental breakdown. The phrase 'I eat my cereal with water because my dad never came back with the milk' Is used as a joke or a way to break the news to someone. I'd rather go get my own milk 😤

Person 1: Make me cry
Person 2: I eat my cereal with water because my dad never came back with the milk
Person 1: 😭😭😭😢😥😰😭😓😩😫🤤😭😭😭😭😭😭

11👍 2👎

Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me! But then, what am I? Is this me? My true self? My fake self? What is it that I am? Nobody understands me!

Don't quote this in therapy you filthy shinnie.

you know how Shinji Ikari once said: "Everything is simply a shape, a form, an identifier to let others recognize me as me! But then, what am I? Is this me? My true self? My fake self? What is it that I am? Nobody understands me!" yeah, I relate to that.

408👍 13👎

I can count how many times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand - 8

I don’t know the meaning .because I’m living under a rock :(. I hope someone explains it.

-_- =( sorry.(I can count how many times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand - 8)

I would literally bind you up and fuck you in the ass and kiss you on the mouth

An acronym for: "I want to hang out with you".

Man, I would literally bind you up and fuck you in the ass and kiss you on the mouth later.

5👍 2👎

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico

A phrase you should promptly say for comedic effect in any setting where someone is seeking feedback on something but there is a pregnant pause...

Presenter: So, does anyone have any thoughts on this planned organizational change?
...tic ...tic ...tic ...tic
"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico"
laughter ensues, pressure is relieved, feedback session is over and everyone can get the hell out of there...
Or Icy stare from management, you are summarily fired a few weeks later for some drummed up offense...

4👍 2👎

for one day, one day, i was really really really really sad

A popular song lyrical by Dixie D'amelio. You can tell by the 4 sad's in one line that she is very upset.

Heidi: Are you okay Dixie?
Dixie: for one day, one day, i was really really really really sad
Heidi: ...............okay Dix.

1👍 3👎