Private occupation

Your unreported side hustle. The secret moonlighting you participate in.

My private occupation is working as a blackberry picker on the Top-secret "Oklahoma Blackberry Plantation."

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private partied

(verb) when the door guy at the club lies to you saying "sorry, private party", cause you just ain't it!

" I showed up at the door, and that asshole private partied me!"

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Private Contractors

The politically correct word used for Mercenaries like those good ol' boys over at Blackwater.

News Anchor: Today in Iraq, private contractors shot 15 civilians because they looked at them wrong.

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Private Parts

Men: The Penis, Testicles, and Anus.

Women: The Breast, Vagina, and Anus.

I saw Mark's Private Parts last night, and he let me play with them.

I saw Jenny's Private Parts last night, and she let me play with them.

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Private Eye

Satirical British magazine edited by Ian Hislop which specialises in exposing highbrow political scandal and making cheap nob gags. Very funny and well worth reading.

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Private Snapchat

A Snapchat account where the individual receives money from the views to see her/him nudes on there story

Hoe friend: how you always be balling!!
Hoe: I made a private Snapchat and cashing out;)
Hoe friend: imm too shy:(
Hoe: no one said you have to show you’re face!

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Private Pooper

A Private Pooper is someone who claims to never shit, and is never seen going to the bathroom and taking the long time needed for a shit.

One theory is that the Private Pooper's wait until a late time, preferably around 3 in the morning when everyone in the general vicinity is sleeping, so they can poop without being caught.

Many of these Private Pooper's have drawn speculations by saying that they're brushing their teeth, and that's why they are taking so long in the bathroom.

Experts say they leave the faucet running during their said "teeth brushing" so that no one will hear the kerplunk into the toilet from the poop.

Many have said to have caught Private Pooper's in the act, but weren't able to supply legitimate evidence.

Joe: Michael, you're taking longer in the bathroom than normal!

Michael: Yeah because I'm washing my face, sorry that I have a girlfriend you idiot.

Joe: You're not washing your face, I know exactly what you're doing you Private Pooper!

Michael: OK motherfucker, you're just a dumb pussy.

Joe: yeah yeah, you Private Pooper.

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