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wasnt he that chick in the da vinci codes great great grand dad?
Tom hanks: You are the last living desendant of jesus christ
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person 1 "holy shit is that jesus, how is he not sinking"
person 2 "he can walk on water dipshit"
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King of the Jews. Was nailed to a cross which was one of the better execution tools in history.
All hail Jesus, king of the Jews!
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A probably fictional man (a derivative one at that) who lived roughly 2000 years ago. He was said to be the son of god (mostly said by himself). Notable for performing several party tricks, for example turning water into wine, feeding 5000 people with limited supplies and rising from the dead. He had 12 lingers on, a couple of which fucked him over big style, most notably Judas. Appears heavily in the new testament of the best selling novel “The Bible” which spawned a cult following known as Christians. Sometimes his name may be used as term of mild annoyance or a word to stress other words.
"jesus josephine"
"jesus dave no fucking need for it"
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Son of god,died for all of our sins so that we may live.
Spoke out against the tyranny of pagan Rome and all of their Satanism and homosexuality,child-molesting and slave-owning ways.
So they killed him in the most evil way imaginable.
Now we are living in Rome as evidenced by all of these tyrannical,evil and hateful posts.
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Usually a name referring to Jesus of Nazareth, who lived from around 0 B.C to 33 A.D. His birth is celebrated on Cristmas day. He was supposedly born of the virgin Mary, and started preaching when he was about 30 years old. He went around the countryside preaching messages of peace, love, and acceptance. He was commonly mistaken as a political revolutionary, uprising against the Roman Empire which was occupying the region at the time.
According to the Bible, he was both God-like and human-like, though nowadays the human part is often forgotton. He hung out with theives, crooks, prostitutes, and other people who were deemed "unacceptable" by society. He perfomed "miracles", such as turning water into wine, calming storms, multiplying bread, etc. Some people interpret these stories literally, while others interpret them metaphorically.
Jesus, by today's standards, would be considered a hippie, a leftie, and an extremist. He preached acceptance and tolerance, not racist, sexist, and homophobic policies.
He was not a pacifist. His whole "turn the other cheek" thing is advising people to use nonviolent resistance. In those times, a slap with the back of the hand was an insult, while a slap with the palm was illigal. The scripture says that if someone hits you on the RIGHT cheek... People's left hands were considered "unclean" and therefore they would have to hit you with their right hand, and to do it on the right cheek would have to be backhanded. If you turn the other cheek, you are forcing them to hit you with their palm, which then would be illegal. There are many other scriptures like this one that are interpreted out of context and have distorted meanings. (hope that clarified things)
Jesus died on a crucifix, the modern-day symbol of christianity. The crucifix was a torture device used by the Romans as punishment. Tons of people tend to forget the origin of the cross. He was accused of calling himself the son of God (which he never did), died on Good Friday, and was resureccted on Easter Sunday.
What Would Jesus Do?
Jesus is my homeboy.
Who Would Jesus Bomb?
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1.Chrisitanity's object of worship. A Middle Eastern Jew generally believed to be a good bloke, around about 2000 years ago in the Roman province of Judaea who preached messages of compassion and understanding in the area. These messages conflicted with traditional and roman religions in the area so he was exectuted. After the theft of his body, his followers spread the teachings of jesus to the main centre of civilisation at the time, Rome, where it became a major cult, eventually influencing the socio-political state there. This led to the subsequent adoption of "Chrisitanity" as the state religion in Rome after Emperor Constantine, an act for which he was cannonised later. It was at this point with the founding of a central theocracy that the Gospels were written by Roman priests and the whole son of god term was coined.
2. Something Impossible to define without someone complaining about it. see insecure.
Have you ever noticed how much people like to argue? especially about Jesus.
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