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A ritual so shamelessly vulgar and disturbing, it would turn even the strongest stomachs. It is a
Canadian tradition where a person first uses the Stanley Cup to bash a moose(opposite sex of the
person in most cases) in the head and knock it down. After the moose is on the ground, the person then
proceeds to get naked and cover them self in honey. After getting completely covered in honey, the
person then applies honey to the moose's anus and genatels and then licks the honey off the moose's
scrotum while sticking one arm up then anus of the moose to stimulate the prostate. This act causes
the moose to become excited, at which point the person begins to use the other hand to masturbate the
moose. After a short time the moose will ejaculate into the Stanley Cup. Once all of the moose sperm
is unloaded into the cup, the person eviscerate the moose and adds the entrails into the Stanley Cup
with the sperm. The person then masticates the contents of the Cup and then ingest the concoction.
While the concoction is being digested the moose antlers are removed and covered with honey and then
inserted into the person anus or any other orifice desired. After a while the person then defecates
into the Stanley Cup the moose antlers are used to scoop out what is known as Canada's History. It is
said that Sarah Palin performs this on her "hunting trips". It is also rumored that Fox News has
adopted this as an initiation to become a news broadcaster.
Sarah Palin served Levi Johnston Canada's History before paying him to give Palin's daughter a Pearl Necklas
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A term used to describe the feeling a woman gets when Stephen Colbert's huge, sun-blocking, American-flag waving 'unit' is gracefully rocketed into her hoo-hoo.
John- "...and how was that?"
Karen- "Fine, but not nearly as exciting as Canada's History"
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1. A perverse sexual act originating in Francophone Canada during the Seven Years War with the British. Realizing that French soldiers were mostly pants-wetting surrender monkeys, the French Canadian generals invented Canada's History as a means of psychological warfare against superior British forces.
- When a British soldier was captured, the French would sodomize him with a set of moose antlers for days on end, collecting the blood and fecal matter (santorum) that oozed out of his ravaged sphincter into a large silver chalice mounted on a pedestal. During his torture the Brit was deprived of food. Once the victim was near starvation a French Canadian petty officer, all of whom were nick-named "Stanley" would present the Brit with the befouled chalice and bid him to drink it.
If the Brit refused, Stanley would ply him with a little maple syrup from a bottle that he kept up his ass. Once the Brit tasted the syrup he would beg for more, and Stanley would pour the remaining syrup into the offal filled chalice, saying "drink from the Stanley Cup or starve!"
After the victim finally drank from the cup, he would be allowed to return to the British army, with the French Canadians advising him: "tell your fellow soldiers to remember Canada's History before they attack us again"!
2. A Canadian smut magazine that was once called "The Beaver"
1. Francois: "If you don't stop picking on me after school, I'm gonna borrow my dad's moose antler's and Canada's History your ass!"
2. Jean Claude: "Lets drink some wine and try out a Canada's History Tonight ma cherie"
Martine: "Only if you bought me organic maple syrup".
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a. A sex act so depraved that even Stephen Colbert can't put it into words. Allegedly involving moose antlers, a bottle of maple syrup, and the stanley cup, but it is also believed that the entire Toronto Maple Leafs team must be involved as well for it to be considered Canada's History.
b. A sex act performed during the coldest snows of winter during which the participants (usually 20 or more) light fires and dance naked and covered in maple syrup before... ugh, I just can't say it.
Dude... you pulled a Canada's History? That's fucked up, man... even for you.
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Canada's History is a sexual act between a man and a woman. The man dawns moose antlers while the woman lubricates the man's penis with 100% pure maple syrup. Once the shaft if fully erect and covered in syrup the woman sucks off the syrup. While still erect the man lowers his head and starts poking the antler tips in the woman's anus or vagina. After the somewhat painful thrusting has caused the woman to orgasm she quickly finishes off the man with a blow job. Once the man cums in her mouth she spits the semen / saliva mix into the Stanly Cup. This whole act takes place only on Boxing Day or on Canada Day.
Thank Goodness Eh! I'm glad it is Canada Day, I've been wanting a Canada's History ever since the day after Christmas.
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A sex act so depraved it can't be described on TV.
It involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
You hear what John did to Mary last night eh?
He taught her all about Canada's history.
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a sex act in which you hire 10 clowns to put on hockey uniforms and sodomize you repeatedly with the branch from a maple tree.
if i won the lottery i would totally get me some canadas history
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