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vendor lock-in

A common rent-seeking practice where vendors design structures and contracts to give them control of customer data and code.

The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:

1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with

2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access

3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor

4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal

6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run

7) Collect economic profits

Vendor Staff: "The regulators of First Common Bank found evidence of overcharging . First Common needs us to pull account numbers on which customers got hit. I wrote up the query and pulled the data while I was on the phone."

Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"

Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."

Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."

Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."

by human-natured December 12, 2019


open locks

To finally have an orgasm after waiting so long

Donna came by last night I got to finally open locks.

by Joey W June 25, 2019


doo doo locks

Twisted locks of hair that smells like doodoo. (Dreads) The locks of dreads have not been washed in years and it smells like doodoo.

That lady's dreadlocks smells like doo doo locks.

by TeamInman May 18, 2020


texas leg lock

When giving a rim job your partner will rap their legs around you to lock you in

Man Alexis Texas has the nicest ass. I would love her to do a Texas Leg Lock on me

by Gio da PANDA March 22, 2016


fartness lockness

a fart monster that haunts your doors when they are locked. It eats u from the inside out, usually it tends to hide in your intestinal track.

person 01889: My intestinal track feels like the 9th circle of hell
Per(poop)son 5: I think thats just fartness lockness, no need to fear! he is lover.

person 1892937388999: U shit licker!

by fartness lockness July 1, 2022


burrito lock

The stage entered when one is eating a burrito and cannot set the burrito down because it would fall apart. This is generally due to lack of structural rigidity because of poor construction.

Larry: Hey, could you grab me a napkin? I’m in burrito lock and can’t get one.

Phil: Sure thing, buddy-guy.

Pierce: What do you think of the new burrito place?
Nick: The food tastes good, but they don’t know how to roll a burrito. The last two times I’ve been in there, I’ve end up with burrito lock.

by PigBat March 19, 2018


Hamburger Lock

When you’re quickly eating a hamburger and the bite pieces form together in your esophagus and lock up

Oh man, Rory was having bad hamburger lock, someone gave her the Heimlich maneuver

by Ohjeeez December 16, 2018