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Why the f*ck are you searching im i gay? You clearly know your not so why bother searching im i gay huh?
Guy: i'm I gay?
Other Guy: yes your gay
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An expression used by one individual to another, usually meaning that they don't trust you entirely yet, and if you fuck up once, there's no chance of getting any at the end of the night.
Sir: Nice to meet you.
Ma'am: Charmed, I'm sure.
Sir: So...do you like beastiality?
Ma'am: ...*walks away*
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Said after solving a taxing problem or difficult issue at work, 'cause after that you definitely deserve a break. Or even better if it wasn't so difficult or taxing, 'cause hell yeah you're going on break anyway!
I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender....all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
- Mitch Hedberg
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The art of being horselike whilst not being a horse.
"Dude, I'm a donkey!" ("Dude, I'm not a horse, zebra, gazelle, etc.)
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Nice way for a husband to turn down his wife's sexual advances upon entering the bed.
Wife: Wanna fool around???"
Husband: "I'm outta hours" while he is rolling over...
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The task is finished according to me, whether it is done or not.
That English paper is done as I'm doin' it. Screw the directions.
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Hey thanks for helping me you didn't have to get up, no worries I'm a swell guy
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