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Now found in most areas of Britain, (to the horror of us all) the Chav is a human sub-species that survives on council tax and thrives on making the lives of every functional member of society, that little bit more painful!
Chavs seem to have developed there own language due to the fact they cannot understand nor learn the traditional proper English like rest of the country.
Both chav males and females usually have more than 1 partner, indulging in random bursts of sexual acts at local bus stops, outside shops and in banged up but 'pimped out' old cars.
You can easily spot a Chav by their hilarious yet disturbing appearance.
Males consist of tracksuit bottoms and a baggy Fred Perry sweatshirt, accompanied with tacky white trainers and a cap balacned on top their heads.
Females also wear tracksuit bottoms, but sport much more unattractive, usaully dirty tops that are 3 sizes to small. The hair is always dirty/greasy and is either pulled in to a ponytail so tight that wrinkles are forms on the forehead or it is left dangling down limply.
Always watch out for either the cheap or very expensive (but always tacky and ugly) gold jewellery.
If you are confronted by a chav, (this will always be when other chavs are around, as they hope to attract a mate or gain admiration), just use any word with 3 syllables or above, and walk away when the look of confusion and anger spread across their face.
Chav language:
Chav 1: 'Ere ya gimp. Got a fag?
Chav 2: Nah, ye dik'ead. Dant call mi a gimp.
How to get away from a conflict with a Chav:
Chav 1: 'Ere mate. Got 'ny dosh?
Person: Do you meen money? No sorry, I don't.
Chav 1: Well let us check ya pockets.
Person: What? No!
Chav 1: Why? Ya sayin' I'm dodgy or summet? Ya fuckin' Emo!
Chav 2: Yeah mate! Kick 'is 'ead in!
Chav 3: Whay! Fuckin' get in there ma son!
Chav 1: Yeah, I fink I'll giv ya a smack just t' teach ya not to fuck 'bout wit' me!
Person: Very well, assault me if it will give you satisfaction. But it will not change the undeniable fact that you, my socially and academically challenged friend, will amount to no more than drug dealer or at best a McDonalds worker in your pathetic life.
Chav 1: (black stare) Ya fuckin' what? (To other chavs) What did this bell-end sniffa' jus' say ta me?
Chav 2: 'Avent a fuckin' clue.
Chav 3: He used to many, like fuckin', school words or summet.
(Person walks away unharmed while the gaggle of chavs continue to argue.)
29👍 6👎
low class shits who have nothing better to do than start crap with people who arent like themselves and steal stuff they cant afford.
the number of gold chains they have around their neck sums up to be more then their IQ.
they also have their own lingo that nobody can actually understand.
other people that are like chavs are townies
50👍 13👎
A lower order of the ape family, living in colonies of anywhere above 2. Can be seen at dusk moving towards a McDonalds or similar. Often spotted marking territory on playgrounds or confronting members of the public in search of the resources to create fire. Favourite pastimes include:
-Using a mobile to record anything more illegal than kicking a lamp post
-Searching for "beef"
-Claiming that a member of the public "called their mum"
-Claiming that a member of the public "looked at them"
-Applying a burberry pattern wherever possible
-Smoking anything intoxicating, up to and including anthorax
-Drinking anything intoxicating, up to and including petrol
-Inhaling anything intoxicating, up to and including napalm
-Impregnating the female of the species - the chavette, who are only suitable for fertilising up to the age of 16
Primate ----> Homo Chavien ----> Homo Sapien
202👍 67👎
Child, derived from the Gipsy/Polari word for children: chavies
We've got to break camp sharpish, I'll strap the mare you gather the chavies into the wagon.
348👍 124👎
Council Houses And Violence:
Term used to describe people who think hanging round childrens play areas, stations, pubs (because they can't get in) and supermarkets is cool.
7 defining characteristics of a chav:
1) Wear caps which half hang off their head, usually burberry or nike tn
2) Illiterate
3) Socks are tucked into trouser (very cool!!)
4) Put on fake east london accents, to try and sound ghetto
5) Have fake gold ring, ear rings and chains
6) Listen to shit music
7) Start fights with just about anyone
also known as rudie, townie or dick head
46👍 12👎
Chav- subspecies of human. noted for the choice of shell-suit body armour, their chariot, usually a Nova, choice in shit beer, tucking leg garments (refered to as "trakkies") into the socks, the body language and accent.
WARNING! A CHAV IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A ZOMBIE WHICH THEY BEAR RESEMBELANCE TO IN MANY TERMS. USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE ON THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, BY GOING TO A CHAV INFESTED AREA. THE ZOMBIES WILL IGNORE SAID AREA, THINKING THE DISEASE HAS ALREADY SPREAD TO THAT AREA
Essex is the sfest place to be in a zombie outbreak, just try to blend in with the chavs and you should live for at least a day*
*being in essex, you will probably be "shanked" or "have a cap popped in yo ass"
Stinked up freaks of nature that THINK there hard when they see a person with long hair or when there in group of 5 or more. they really need to start looking after there kids instead of getting battered all the time. lol at chavs
Chav: Brap Brap, wot you looking mate you bein cheeky?
Long haired man: Wot?! you Better shut that mouth before you get a slap you little tramp!
Chav: *while walking away* il get you battered mate *repeats many times*
*Chav leaves*
Long haired man:... wot a chav.