baby jesus

Another term for blow job, "bj"

Mary was still a virgin and wasn't ready for sex, so she gave him a baby jesus.

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Jesus Christ

Interjection best used when in pain, surprise, or discontent. See also shit,holy shit.

Jesus Christ: I am your lord and savior. I have returned.
Person: Jesus Christ!

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Jesus Patrol

A group of government agents who are in search for Jesus, with the aid of the sex detector gun.

The Jesus Patrol has yet to find the Jesus.

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Jesus Freak

Off-set of Christianity which brings shame to real Christians. The emos of religion if you will.
Crazy people who take the already fucked up laws of Christinaity to the extreme. They like Hell Houses,throwing holy water all over the place and George Bush. Oh,and Mel Gibson.
Jesus Freaks fear/loathe two thing: Slayer and Bill Hicks.

The Jesus Freak took her nine year old to see The Passion Of The Christ,then later that day she went to a rally to get Brokeback Mountain banned from cinemas.

Me: "Hey,why did Jesus walk on water?"
JesusFreak: "Well-"
Me:"Everyone knows, SHIT FLOATS!"
Me ~runs like hell~

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jesus abs

having perfectly sculpted abs that make any one jaw drob at the sight of the goodly gift

Shishoka: Matt what are yo...... (jaw falls to the floor)

Matt: oh hey babe just working on my JESUS ABS.

Shishoka: oglasoagla..............

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Jesus Biscuit

Another name for the Christian Eucharist, the white wafer given out during Holy Communion

Ahh man those Jesus Biscuit taste like shit!

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jesus-whore

a loose or promiscuous woman/or girl who still firmly believes in their religion.

person 1: "did you hear that she wouldn't take off her cross necklace when they were having sex?"

person 2: "ohmigod she's such a jesus-whore"

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