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when instead of wiping your ass after you shit, you just bend your soft cock back and piss it clean
steve walks into motel room with old southern motel owner
old skinny southern guy in overalls- this is the room, only 30 bucks for the night
steve- not bad but theres no toilet paper
old skinny southern guy- not a problem
steve- so youll get more
old skinny southern guy- no need for all that city witchery, just giv er a good ol golden ring wash
steve- wtf is that? when you piss the shit off your ass?
old skinny southern guy- yep
steve- o.. thats actualy a good idea and helps protect the ozone
A set of brass knuckles.
Todd got beaten up by some thug wearing an Irish wedding ring.
When you stay in bed for so long that the time in bed exceeds the 'normal' sleep duration by approximately 9 hours and 18 minutes ( the duration of all three lord of the rings films without extended the editions).
It is also worth noting that an 'extended Lord of the Rings lie-in' exceeds 11 hours 20 minutes of 'normal' sleep time due to that being as long as the extended edition of the trilogy.
'Ahh Dave's having a Lord of the Rings lie-in after getting particularly messy last night'
To have sex with two clowns simultaneously. This may end in a creampie, though not always the kind you're expecting.
"Say, Jim, you feeling okay? You have a haunted air about you."
"Last night I had a Three-Ring Circus and now my wife wants a divorce."
Going to town on yourself with a rubber glove on in the public toilets at Westfield shopping centre.
I heard some bloke in the dunnys ringing the chooks neck today.
what a grub
You and a partner braid your pubic hair to your asshole hair, creating a cock ring, using your braided hair only.
Friend: Did you get lucky last night with Lauren?
Me: Yeah, she braided me a Caveman Cock Ring
The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.