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A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.
Put that poop stick down you turd burglar, those are my Nutrients !
Its an old superstition about A sneaky lil midget bandit theif in the night that climbs in your bathroom window and burgles the turd right out the bowl that more than likely are there because you got shit faced and forgot to flush or your dirty lazy kids left the bowl present for the turd bandit. Because the story goes.... Feed the turd burglar once a week and you will never get a stomach. Keep that gut flora happy ... Feed the turd burglars.
"Tiny tim dont flush that shit you know you got to leave that for the turd burglar tonight or you will end up with a belly ache
Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.
Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?
a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).
mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar
An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.
>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person
> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd
Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar