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The hand of the holy God Emperor of mankind in the warhammer 40'000 universe
I fapped to a picture of the Emperor's Hand today. FOR THE EMPEROR'S GLORY!
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When one uses their own mangled hand to masterbate and/or digitally sodomize themself. Injury should be lawnmower or blender related.
"Ashley thought it was weird when I lifted up my sack and started giving my asshole the good old Kandis Hand"
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Hands that fuck whatever they touch. Beyond clumsy.
Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Sean and Brittany are preparing for a party at their new apartment. Todd is helping.
Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
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the hand ya beat ur captain with
phil you just shook his captain's hand!!!!
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When you go to wipe your ass and either A) the toilet paper you've chosen to use fails resulting in shit all of your hand. B) Said toilet paper does not exist or C) Somehow shit actually finds it way onto your hand.
Also related: Poop Thumb (Which is a lessor case of above - Shit Hand)
I was in the toilet when my toilet paper ripped in half, so I have a severe case of shit hand right now.
Ever have poopthumb? Well I have shit hand, that is a whole other list of problems.
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When you have a sore in the middle of your hand. Either from a blister or a cut, in place where jesus got nailed to the cross.
'man all this screwing has given me a jesus hand'.
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Skills so incredible that they have the effect on observers of an excellent handjob.
I would like to make sweet sweet love to your show four times a day for the next year and have 5000 little babies running around to keep giving me mad hand... Oh my God that mad, mad hand. Please never go off the air because all the joy will be exhausted from my life and I will probably kill a family of bunny rabbits before turning the shotgun on myself.
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