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The tenlee theory, is the theory in which guys with thick necks just happen to have small and skinny penises.
“That guy has a thick neck” “yk what that means……the tenlee theory”
Centene Time Warp Theory, or CTWT, is the phenomenon experienced by company employees that proposes that time is not as it is perceived it to be, i.e, minute for minute and second for second as expected. It is in fact a far higher ratio that isn't known until a work week is complete. There is no known formula to calculate this ratio prior to the end of a scheduled shift and is to this point, only a feeling experienced by those exposed. Any one person may have a different feeling that is dependent on their level of exposure.
There is currently no known cure for CTW sickness other than rest and time away from your job.
Pauly had a long week at work. He told Larry and Freddy that he was happy the week was over.
Pauly: Man I'm glad this week is over.
Freddy: Pauly, it's only Monday afternoon.
Pauly: No way, it feels like it's been a week already.
Larry: Pauly, let me educate you on Centene Time Warp Theory(CTWT). It makes you feel like you've worked an exponentially higher number of hours in a short period of time.
when you’re the straightest of the group but have a thing for a woman named zooey or you’re in a discord group that watches movies BUT NEVER JOINS IN TO WATCH THE MOVIES!!!
you’ve also been kicked out of faniston twitter 😏
The Ella Theory is honestly the most unproblematic and most simple theory!
The theory of two time zones colliding together. When time is read, you describe the "in between" of the two times
We live off the Thagriyium Theory to tell time
Noun
1. A mathematical theory which suggests that whenever 10 or more Mexicans are packed into a vehicle or dwelling like sardines, that at least 2 or more of them are having sex at any given time.
"According to Sardinean String Theory, we're about to experience a baby boom of illegal immigrants, the likes of which the world has never seen."
The scientific and philosophical theory stating that at any point of its' existence- there is at least one tomato either submerged, or floating upon any of the worlds oceans.
Me: "I'd like to introduce you all to Aflo's Theory-"
Scientists: "Oh? What is it?"
Me: "It is a theory stating that at any given moment- there is at lest one tomato in the ocean."
Scientists: "-And what, pray tell, is the purpose of this theory?"
Me, now revealing the backpack of tomatoes I brought to the beach: "Gazpacho."
This theory recognizes that humans are not perfect and that for every mistake in a model or schedule
there will be another "mistake" in somewhat equal scope to offset each other, hence rendering the model or budget still valid.
The idea behind is that things will anyway fall the way they fall and we cannot control for that.
The optimistic view is that this theory rejects Murphy's Law, the negligent take on it is the "Trust me, it will be OK" approach to life.
Decide where you want to be.
Accountant 1: oh, crap... we forgot to add $1 million in income from product X sales to the budget
Accountant 2: oh, fudge... product Y's revenue is inflated by $980K...oh wait... based on the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes all is well, the numbers we gave the CEO are still valid, yay.
Girl: oh, crap... your condom broke
Dude: oh, fudge... you miscounted your days, your period is due today at 8pm.... you are not pregnant, yay.