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when you’re the straightest of the group but have a thing for a woman named zooey or you’re in a discord group that watches movies BUT NEVER JOINS IN TO WATCH THE MOVIES!!!
you’ve also been kicked out of faniston twitter 😏
The Ella Theory is honestly the most unproblematic and most simple theory!
Noun: The act of approaching all types of girls correlated to taking different types of basketball shots based on their perceived attractiveness and the difficulty of the shot.
Lay-up: Asking out someone who’s chopped and pretty easy to get with. “Everyone warms up with lays, apart of every players bag”
Mid-range shot (Middy): Going for someone who’s debatable if you should go for that or not but it takes some effort, but still within reach. “Every great player has to shoot some middys sometimes, keep them humble.”
3-pointer: Tryna bag someone attractive, these shots are harder to take but not out of reach, one could go in. . “3 balls are essential to add to the bag, needa be proud of the shots you take.”
Logo shot: Pursuing someone extremely attractive and out of your league. Likely won’t succeed, but worth a shot. Do not recommend but every once in a while the shot is there. ONLY FOR 10s “Chooc’s favorite shot.”
Do you practice hoop theory? If so what’s is your favorite shot to take?
The theory of two time zones colliding together. When time is read, you describe the "in between" of the two times
We live off the Thagriyium Theory to tell time
Noun
1. A mathematical theory which suggests that whenever 10 or more Mexicans are packed into a vehicle or dwelling like sardines, that at least 2 or more of them are having sex at any given time.
"According to Sardinean String Theory, we're about to experience a baby boom of illegal immigrants, the likes of which the world has never seen."
Any object, substance, or person has been created or built by a man/woman named John/Joan D. Whatever they created takes the place of their last name.
The John D. Theory is as follows: John D. Earth, also known as God, created the Earth.
This theory is the same exact concept as the pickle and/ or olive theory, but for pothead significant others. If the relationship has one person who is a master at rolling and a master at getting high, then the relationship is at an equilibirum. This is best explained by the phenomenon of “opposites attracting.” Since there is always one person who knows how to roll and another who wishes how, the compatibility of both partners are being constantly tested.
* This does not guarantee that someone who can roll and someone who cannot are perfect matches. It is simply a trope found in stereotypical stoner couples and is a better argument than the olive or pickle theory itself.
Friend: “Yeah, me and my girl are pretty close. We smoke a lot but I don’t know how to roll…”
Me: “Sounds like THE ROLLING THEORY to me bro. Does she roll all the time or do you bring your piece?”
Friend: “I don’t even have a bong! I bring weed and she always insists we match, I think I might have to put a ring on that finger!”
Me: “Hooray!!!!”
Um... Miss Tillman.
Paul Young's been missing for a couple of days. Have you seen him?
Why ask me?
I saw him leave a box on your doorstep.
And I've seen Zach over here.
If I did know where Mr. Young was, why would I tell you?
Look, the police think I killed your sister and I'm sure you do too. But I had nothing to do with it.
And you think Paul Young did.
Well... No, that's not what I was saying.
You gotta admit, it's a neat theory.