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A latex, polyurethane, or natural sheepskin oblong barrier placed over the penis for eliminating most chance of pregnancy for human males who can:
1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage.
2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation.
Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels.
Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes.
The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.
'Jeanette is pregnant now.'
'What? Kevin, didn't you wear a condom?'
'Yeah, it was actually the first time we ever used a condom in our seven years of having sex, but I stayed inside her for hours and didn't notice until it was too late, because I was wearing the condom.'
'Wow. Should have stuck with withdrawal, huh?'
'Yeah, definitely.'
31👍 52👎
A piece of latex that is put on man's penis to prevent a child and women who will steal your money for 18 years.
*people on mary*
woman: "he is yo child1 I am 5000% sure!
man: "he ain't mine, I was wearing a condom!"
woman: "you owe me some child support you deadbeat!"
mary: "in the case of the little baby, sir, you are not the father."
woman: *runs of stage crying*
8👍 6👎
optimal method of performing sexual act, implies no use of protection, ideally without birth control medecine
I banged this girl 'no condom', j. no c.'d, might be time for the rusty coat-hanger
29👍 51👎
The ones belief to commit adultery, safely by using latex wrapped around thy knob penis.
Person 1: Do you have a firm belief in condomism?
Person 2: Yes I do believe in condomism, i think that is the efficient way to commit adultery.
3👍 1👎
A type of object that is used to prevent from people having little kids running around
I wished I used a condom
I wish I had a condom 5 years ago
4👍 1👎
A protective barrier that can prevent pregnant and std's. puts you in 18 years of pain if it breaks.
If you don't want kids or a bad infection, wear condoms.
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A condom is a very special piece of plastic wrap that keeps a women from getting that white stuff.
I would prefer he rather not use a condom just so we can have very kinky sex.
4👍 1👎