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The type of people, who, if asked the time would reply, "What, ya being cheeky, fukin startin me like?"
Surviving only by basing their lives around the Pack Mentality, townies hunt in groups for anything even Slightly differant to what they consider "Normal", i.e. Identical to Them.
So if you don't happen to buy your clothes in Fake Burberry from the local market, avoid at all costs.
Unable to cope with the fact they are the most unintelligent (have the same average IQ as thecommon cold) and pathetic sub-species upon the face of the earth they swarm towns with bottles of cheap cider and wine, and, after locating, cluster around lone targets with shouts of "Goff" and "Moshaaaaaahhhhh"
Townie 1 - "Ear, You a Goff?"
Townie 2- "Yea, fuking Goff like"
Person - "What? No"
Townie 1- "Yea ya are! Fuk"
Townie 2 - "What are ya then??"
Person - "I'm just me"
Townie 1 - "Whats one of them? Is it like a Goff?"
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a very clean, very kind, very well cared for, very beautiful and very VERY accepting of others i.e. goths/emos/grungers/scene kids/skaters ect ect.
there is no need to panic if you are walking down a alley and you ACSEDENTLY trip and fall on their house and tear off one the sides after heavy rain fall.
they will often crawl out and offer you broken bottle as a gift and then they send you on your way, politely, may i add!
they often come and visit us at the skate park to say hello and wish us good day, again they often leave a small gift like a rock or yet another broken bottle but they are sometimes so happy to see us that they hand you the rock so fast that it slips and gives you a black eye. this is the best gift possible as it a mark that will stay for about 5-10 days.
if i am ever feeling peckish i will head straight to my local macdonalds to buy maybe a bag of fruit or a yogurt drink and i will often see my townie friends there and they will greet me with a hearty moonie or a Chery grin. they now know me well enough to just take me food without asking, after giving me "the mark" they will never need to ask again, it will be my pleasure!!
then on the bus ride home if i venture to the top deck there will be a nice scattering of townies and chavs that often ask me to go and sit with them. i can tell another delightful gift is coming so my hearts starts beating faster and faster. i stand by them and chat about the weather, current affairs or the lack of discipline in schools. these often excite them also so they give me a friendly pat on the back that sends me on a exhilarating trip to the end of the bus, down the stairs and onto the lap of a old woman. i will then compose myself and wait for my stop whilst listening to the harmonious cackles coming from the upper deck.
so, here's my stop, i thank the bus driver and step of the bus. i feel a patter of rain and look up, only to see their saliva falling pleasantly upon my face and hair.
what a great day i think to myself as i step in the door, i could barely wait for the night to be over so i could start this all over again.
thanks for listening
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The qualities associated with towns rather than with the country or the city, and towniness is a noun that implies these qualities.
She, in her towny way, thought that she had to get into everyone's business.
British term. People (though i prefer to refer to them as 'things' or 'it') also known as 'neds', 'rudeboys' and/or 'ruders', depending on where they are located in the country. You will usually find them 'hanging out'or 'chillin' in parks, town centres (as the name suggests), or huddled in little golf GTIs (small cars) with the speakers turned up loud enough for everyone to hear their 'blingin tunes' which predominantly consist of Blazin squad, So solid crew, and other so called 'music' performed by either black rappers (which most townies insist they are) or equally retarded townie type people. the only difference between the townies performing the music and the townies listening to the music is that the performers have a job that doesnt involve flipping burgers or spitting in boxes of onion rings. townies like their cars because it means they can hurl abuse at passers by without fear of getting beaten up, as most townies are cowards and only decide to fight people when they are with all their 'homies'. The people townies usually pick on are.. well, everyone else; townies are usually identified by a combination of thier style of clothing (if u can call it style) and their lary, rude and abusive attitude, however as the majority of people townies choose to yell at/beat up are generally nicer personality-wise, these people are categorized by townies into groups based soley on their items of clothing e.g goths, greebs, moshers, skaters, anyone who refuses to dress and act the way they do. Regardless of the amount of people townies choose to hate, they make little effort, or are incapable of, coming up with decent insults. Their random abusive yells usually consist of 'f*ing goth' 'f*ing greeb' or simply 'skater!!' or 'big trousers!' If you pass some townies in the street, be prepared for a laugh, they WILL yell something at u, thats all they ever do, don't bother letting it get to u.. take comfort in the knowledge that in 20 years they'll be living in the same town, except in their own council house buying large nappy supplies with dole money.
blazin squad are propa hectic man init! Can i get a rewind??
complete losers who hang around on street corners(as opposed to the middle or a cul-de-sac) because they are so mentally challenged they like to poke their heads round and play peekaboo
townie 1:peekaboo!
townie 2:agh!wha' the fuck you doin' man
Townies, sometimes known as chavs or trendys, are sadly all too common in and around the UK.
Townies will 'give evils' to anyone who satisfys one or more of these criterias
1)likes 'goff' music
2)wears one or more items of black
3)wears a long skirt - for a townie the definition of long is 30cms. past the knee is unknown to them
4)wears anything intresting or individual EG a hat that isn't burberry
5)uses full words on an instant messenger
6)has their own skin, instead of a bottle of foundation and a tube of concealer 5 shades too dark applied to their face with a trowel.
7)plays a musical instument that isn't 'decks'
8)skates
9) has friends, as apposed to 'crew' or 'homies'
10) doesn't claim to have had sex with more people than they have met
11) wears their underwear as underwear, unlike them who wear it as outerwear
12)doesn't wear company logos across their chest or bum
13)is actually nice
if you do find a townie giving you evils, proceed to ask them what the guy who created burberry was called. they will immediatly blert out gucci.
if you are still unsure as to what a townie is, watch the quality programing of 'little britain' and pay special attention to vicky pollard
townie 1 - yeah, i got sum new bling innit?
townie 2 - yeah, if his tune's paht, it's gonna get rinsed
'goff' - WHAT?!?
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A youth who excessively travels to, or resides in town. Typically wearing skinny jeans and band t-shirt. Hair obscuring eyes. Possibly questionable sexuality.
Harry "Townie" Colovic. Such a Townie.
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