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faith christian academy has a terrible principal (caves)
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a fair weather Christian is a person who only believes in god and Christianity when a miracle occurs and only repents when a rapture prediction is at hand.
on may 21st 2011 joe the " fair weather Christian " repented all of his sins.. yet on may 22nd he was out kicking puppies and coveting his neighbor's wife !
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A person who makes stuff up using faith just like evangelicals, but by appropriating humanist values and then proceeds to give all the credit to Jesus. Progressive Christians like to talk about deconstruction to help distance themselves from evangelicals, but they're also known for being deconstruction gatekeepers at the same time. They'll say deconstruction is okay as long as you keep your faith in Jesus by the end of your journey.
"Some of y'all have deconstructed so much that you're rejoicing when someone tosses his faith away. Not here for that." - Progressive Christian
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Act as if you have a reason to leave and then go.
I dont like freddie but I was stuck talking to him so I christian bailed out of there.
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crossings is a place full of rich white fags. you might catch them getting addicted to weed, vapes, and alc even though all ccs kids bios say christ first. the school also discriminates against gays even they the student body and faculty is all made up of fags. the few high schoolers not addicted to substances are addicted to slime, hatchamals, fortnite, basic white kid dancing, and rap music because tHeY aRe cUlTUrEd. if you see a girl flexing with a gucci belt or a guy with gucci slides you might think they go to casady school or heritage hall but don’t be mistaken this is a crossings trademark. The feeble minded students think they are athletic beasts because they are better than their teammates, that are often mistaken for special needs when they are on the court or field, but in reality the only true competitors at this school are on the debate team. crossings might have won cheer but in the 3a division athletes could be replaced with monkeys on an lsd trip and spectators wouldn’t notice. at least casady, hh, and mcguinness students can have there parents pay their way through life, but crossings students come from bible beating, middle class, homophobic wanna-be parents trying to produce clones of themselves by sending their children to a cult.
After unfastening eachother’s gucci belts the two homophobic crossings christian school students began to suck echothers dicks.
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Forget gospel and Christian rock — death and black metal would have to be the most appropriate possible genres for a certain brand of Christianity.
Consider the story: a vengeful, jealous deity, bearing strong resemblance to many a bearded Viking god, has a half-human son (without the woman's permission) for the specific purpose of ultimately sacrificing him by means that are both excruciating and bloody.
Whereas the average human sacrifices result in something like better weather for the crops or victory in war, the ironic result of this one is that nearly all of us puny humans, too ignorant or naive to accept this Lovecraftian reality, are condemned to suffer torments inflicted by a band of fallen angels led by none other than Lucifer himself.
How fucking metal can you get? Does Buddhism even approach this?
Christian death metal lyrics in an uninformed imagination:
JESUS BLOOD BLOOD JESUS
BLOOD COMIN OUT HIS EYEBALLS
JESUS SUFFER SUFFER DIE
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Christian the Awesome Ninja is an almost indescribable fictional short story written by the infamous Drew Relkcerk. The story is about a guy named Christian who kills his parents accidentaly with his ninja powers before he even knows he has them. Then he learns more about his powers as he gets older and becomes Christian the Awesome Ninja. In the story he becomes so awesome you`d think he`s the good guy but, as the story progresses he becomes corrupt and starts killing people for no reason. Then, out of a giant bolt of lightning from the sky, comes Drew! Who owns Christian and changes Christian`s name to chis. And Drew changes his own name to Drew The Savior. In order to understand this crazy-ass logic you must read the story which is impossible for alot of people because the only 4 copies of the story are here in my desk drawer.
A few excerpts from Christian the Awesome Ninja below:
1.)" Narrator: There once was a Christian named ninja
Producer: CUT! Oh, C`mon man this is like the 50th time we`ve gone over this its 'There once was a ninja named Christian!! Seriously though, you gotta work on that!!
Narrator: Oh, Sorry
Producer: Alright everybody! From the top! ACTION!"
2.) "Drew the Savior: I couldn`t have done it without help from my best friends Chuck Norris and Jesus."
3.) "Christian the Awesome Ninja: ABRA KADABRA ALEKAZAM!!!"
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