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The uncle the molested you when you were 6. He’s a pretty sweet guy but thinks you forgot about what he did. He mostly spends his time in the basement and at church. He’s anti social and has 1 friend he plays golf with (usally your dad or a friend from Highschool). Over all a pretty weird but nice-ish guy
Uncle Jim is a pedophile
Let’s go play golf with your Uncle Jim
Not someone who should be within 50 miles of a school zone.
My bully chasing me: "You've got nowhere to run dipshit"
My Uncle Jim: *appears*
MY bully now realizing that we are not within 50 miles of a school zone: *prepares his asshole*
An old man, works as floor cleaner and does 🎣, is a pro astro photographer, spams a lot, has tremendous achievements and won gold medal in getting banned.
Has extraordinary mind, is a geek and has signed cryopreservation contract till 2805.
Person1-Oh look there, Miguel
Person2-no dude he is our Migool uncle.
When you sit on your hand until it falls asleep, then firmly grasp the shaft of your penis and have a companion motion it up and down.
Hey Brian! I don’t want to make it weird or anything, but could you give me a Dutch uncle? I’ve got blue balls, and I just bought you Chik Fil A, so you kinda owe me.
1👍 1👎
Uncle stroking is an ancient technique of pleasuring oneself in which the male places his penis in between 2 rough, cubical ancient stones. The stones must be in cube form and must be handheld, otherwise the process will not work. After placing the penis in between the stones, you push them together to create an extreme force that results in the deforming of the penis and said penis begins to bleed. After this step, you move the stones forward and back in a masturbating form, using your own blood as a lubricant to make the uncle stroking even more pleasurable than it is.
"Sorry, I can't fuck tonight, my dick hurts so much from uncle stroking last night."
"I just discovered uncle stroking and it's the greatest thing ever!"
One of the highest steps on the edging staircase. One must pass through multiple other stages such as edging, gooning and munting in order to reach it. It is the act of doing a reach around the legs double fister on your shmeat with slow strokes. Your right hand rotating clockwise and left counter clockwise. This is preformed until peak stimulation and then released right by before you blow. If you blow this breaks your edging streak and you have to begin back at the bottom by starting back at edging. The term uncle stroking is derived by uncle all across the world preforming this method as it enlightens you and gives you +500 aura.
“Hey crody I was uncle stroking it last night, and on fanum it was amazing. It’s way better than the munting and edging.”
“What the fuck are you saying”