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texas asshole massacre

when your Texan uncle proceeds to take his 2 in. chode and steak knife, carve his initials with the knife on your right buttcheek and carve "DADDYS HOLE" on the left one.

hello, officer, my uncle texas asshole massacred my ass and i cant sit down without the blood from my buttcheek cuts start to seep out of my pants and all over the chair.

by Lou Sassoul December 17, 2019


seasonal asshole disorder

A seasonal affection, generally brought on by summer, wherein the afflicted regularly drinks more than a socially condoned portion and refuses to acknowledge or consider pleas from loved ones. Symptoms may include spraying fire pits with flammable chemicals (I.e., bug spray) or needlessly flaunting wokeness.

I'm worried about Bill...I think he may have Seasonal Asshole Disorder after nearly burning off that girl's eyebrows

by Celeste420BlazeIt May 02, 2017


Asshole Recovery Period

The lag time after a shit in which you're unable to sit down. Not to be confused with Post Shit Syndrome.

Rick had an hour long asshole recovery period after downing 2 foot long chilli cheese dogs.

by TesticularTorsion September 02, 2014


Self actualized asshole

Someone who already knows they're an asshole, even if you tell them another thousand times what an asshole or a jerk they are.

The guy was a self actualized asshole, or

If you like saying it a different way, he was the kind of asshole you say he was in a different bullshit way, simple.

by Solid Mantis August 07, 2019


the benefits of being an asshole

A phrase born of the fact that Florida’s Governor, Ron DeFlatus, has suggested that the state’s educational curriculum include material on “the benefits of being a slave” so that whitefolk don’t wind up stewing in their own guilt over slaveholding ancestors, thereby garnering him some white votes since there are so many that would vote for such an asshole with this point of view.

The “anti-woke” Florida Governor knows that he can garner strong support from white supremacists by virtue of his ridiculous reinvention of history and this illustrates the benefits of being an asshole in this part of the country.

by Dr Bunnygirl July 20, 2023


Stuck behind the asshole

Being stuck behind someone driving too slow. You stay behind them thinking that they are not gonna go exactly where you are going for long but they do. Then your frustration sets in being stuck behind the ASSHOLE!!!

I was driving home from work after a long week, I was making good time until I was stuck behind the asshole.

by cpetkunas February 17, 2019


fashizling my asshole

to tell a person that you were joking or to ask if someone is joking

person 1: "I just smashed your vase" person 2: "dude. are you fashizling my asshole?"

Example 2: person one: "did you just smash my vase" person 2: "no i was just fashizling your asshole"

by assdunker November 23, 2010