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Random
It’s basically like Kyler’s dad but my uncle fucked me and my sister in the ass with both his penis and thumb when we were 10 years old and we didn’t know any better about it. Basically gay Incest.
Half-Credit: WWW.COMPASS
My friend told me the story where he was in the Uncle Fucker Incident
"Were you just figuratively Uncle Samming me?"
"Yes I was...finger pointing and everything."
The shitty uncle is the uncle that did some time in prison for some shit he can't talk about. He listens to limp bizkit cannibal corpse. Sometimes he's called the drunkle because he gets fucked up on bottles on top of bottles and tells funny fucked ass story's. Shitty uncle isn't all bad he keeps shit real and straight forward and loves his family
THE STORY OF THE SHITTY UNCLE
To begin this story we have no choice but to start from the beginning he starts off just a brain dead baby in the middle of Ma and Pa's trailer with little responsiblity his soft spot used as an ash tray, holding dad's beer an and watching over the house when his parents are out on a coke binge.
Through his 20s he's just in and out of prison doing crime for dirty dime in and out of shitty relationships with all his prized shitty aunts who are sweet but out of there FUCKING MIND
Requirements to be The Shitty Uncle
:must die at the age of 45 or disappear
off the face of the earth
:burklesnatch your nephews face at
least 5 times a visit
:were a wife beater and baggy shorts,
backwards cap with a goatee and bald
:Be skinny but muscular
:live the peice of shit life
:punk is your main comeback or some
drunk shit
:must pull the most devious pranks on
your nephew and toughen him up and
protect your neice with your life
:and you have to get knocked tf out by a
7ft black dude who weighs 300 pounds
ripped sorry it's just the rules
:can only date sweet psycho women=
shitty aunts
Everyone's estranged uncle who likes to cleverly touch his adolescent nieces where he probably shouldn't, usually in the form of a seemingly innocent pat on the ass or thigh.
"You going to Miley's 15th birthday party?"
"Hell no-uncle Spanky will be there."
A person who works against their own people or knowingly allows themselves to be used as a tool by enemies who are working against people like themselves. Similar concepts include coon, sambo, house n word, house slave, etc. A portmanteau of Uncle Tom, Uncle Ruckus and Cuck. A slave who rats the plan to flee/revolt to massa for some hot biscuits.
"Who wins the Uncle Cuckus Award between Clarence Thomas, Clandace Owens, Larry Elder, Tim Scott, Byron Donald's Cuck, Vivek Ramapickme, Nikki Haley, Ben Shapiro, David Rubin, Caitlyn Jenner or the black gay guy who got kicked out of the maGA gathering & still blew maGA like they're not gonna force him to marry a woman?"
"Poor rural white dummies."
"Now if you'll notice the definition, it says people who Knowingly are tools for their enemies against themselves."
"Then Dave Chappelle."
"AH! Forgot about him. Touché."
Family members with shifty eyes and overly friendly hugs who discover their affectionate side when their cousins and nieces buy their first training bra.
Whereas flirtatious grandpas are usually written off as being harmless, Twister Uncles sometimes require a tongue-lashing from Cousin Willy.
An Arab working for the white man.
Another way to please white man , basically another (Uncle Tom) in the Arab version.
He would please the white man to get the job done and in return he will rewarded (by getting alcohol and white women if he is lucky )
Will do anything to be part of the white race.
He will sellout to his own tribe and other Arabs .
If another Arab befriend his white man , he will find ways to ruin his reputation. I.E. (backstab, create false rumors to earn the trust to the white man)
White Man:
Uncle Ali , please get pipe connected correctly, you won’t get the booze or hang out with my white friends
Uncle Ali:
Yes Sir , inshallah it will done in 5 mins