Rural Dictionary

Pork Scotch walk

The slowest walking speed possible. Only fat old security guards with short stumpy legs can achieve this incredibly slow rate of movement. Given a headwind and a hangover the Pork Scotch walk can compete with continental drift for lack of swiftness.

Is that fat guy sleeping on his feet?

No he's on his way to work. He's so old and flabby he can't go any faster than a Pork Scotch walk.

by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 16, 2009

33👍 8👎

walk all over

to intimidate and maltreat someone or something

The teacher clearly intended to walk all over your son. He should have been fired.

by The Return of Light Joker November 25, 2011

39👍 9👎

Dead man walking

An employee who is certain to be fired in the near future.

I pay no attention to my boss anymore; he's a dead man walking.

by hot-sauce October 27, 2006

354👍 128👎

Walk Like An Egyptian

In the 1980's, Osiris, the great and terrible Egyptian god of the dead, awakened from a centuries-old sleep to wreak vengeance on the modern, monotheistic world which had weakened him to a near-death state. He set about orchestrating a master plan which would make the world pay for his defeat. As his first order of business, he called his servant Anubis to his subterranean chamber, instructing him to go to earth and bring back four mortal souls. The jackal god returned with four souls, which Osiris possessed and named Susanna Hoffs, Debbi Peterson, Michael Steele and Vicki Peterson. With his telekinetic powers, he returned them to earth, where they wrote a song proclaiming the power of the Egyptian gods. It climbed the charts and hooked many listeners. But the song contained an evil curse, a curse that took hold of the listener's mind for decades on end. Soon everyone was hopelessly obsessed with the song, humming it on street corners and in public restrooms. Even today, to speak the accursed name of the song spells doom. So be careful; respect Osiris and his assortment of half-animal courtiers. If you don't, you could be the next victim.

-Hey Charlie. Let's listen to some music.
-Okay Joanna. How about this? Walk like an Egyptian.
-Charlie, NO!!
-Praise Osiris!

by Charles Mc September 9, 2007

68👍 22👎