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easy ass major. made for those who don't like or can't study. You see those kids partying their way through college and getting knocked up/STDs/wasted every night? Chances are they are an accountant. Or a just a psychology major.
Dan: Damnnn I'm so drunk and high right now, I guess I'll skip class tomorrow.
Tim: You're in school?! I thought you were like a dropout or something.
Dan: Naw man, I'm an accountant!!
Tim: Oh. That explains it.
72👍 340👎
A person who wanted to be a lawyer but couldn’t get the grades.
Lawyer 1: he’s an accountant.....
Lawyer 2: geez it’s not that hard.....
4👍 16👎
Profession in which calculator-wielding lackeys figure out ways to hide all the money the boss has spent buying pussy;
Job duties also include figuring out how to write and cash checks, prepare fraudulent financial statements, and shredding documents.
"Jack, can you call up Benny down in accounting to see if they finished cooking the books? I forgot to attach those "catering" receipts form vinny's liqours and suki's massage parlor.
396👍 139👎
1. The department that insists on gang-auditing the entire coporation. Accounting departments solve problems you didn't know you have in ways you don't understand. In God they trust, all others must bring data.
2. The process of hiding income by processing it through a large-turnover entity, who takes a premium from it, and then receiving the income from that entity to avoid suspicion from auditors and IRS.
Accounting will prove anything, even the truth.
153👍 63👎
worthless, not having any merit
Get back to your dump, and take your no-account mutt with you.
15👍 3👎
A. Taking notice or recognition of something.
B. Used by businesses to hold customer information. Such as: Address, Phone Number, Name and other important information.
A. To Account for your actions!
80👍 33👎
A euphemism for taking the afternoon off to get some pussy
I can't come see you this afternoon, I have a ton of accounting to take care of.
89👍 47👎