garden hose

1. when you wake up in the morning and you have a raging boner because you had a long night of drinkin' or smokin' so you haven't pissed in a while, making you're morning wood hurt even worse than usual due to the large build-up of piss in your boner, like water in a garden hose.

2. useful garden tool for watering your plants.

1. Guy at Urinal: "Dude you have a fuckin' boner"

Guy # 2: "I know, I had a long night at the pub so I passed out before I could take a leak, had a dream about Pam Anderson, and woke up with a fuckin' garden hose."

2. "Honey pass me the garden hose so I can water my tulips."

7👍 5👎

garden hose

a girl who is a player and cheats on all her boyfriends

John: Did you hear Alexa cheated on Brian?
Dan: Yeah, she’s such a garden hose.

garden hose

The penis-like piece of flesh constructed in a female-to-male sex-change operation.

She calls herself a man, but her garden hose can't satisfy a woman.

4👍 6👎

Garden hose

One guy getting shot in an argument over a garden hose by his brother in law, that has happened before, but both the guy and his brother in law laying in the grass like two pieces of rotten Swiss cheese after an argument over a garden hose (kind of like the elevator scene from Smokin Aces), that hasn't been done before.

Both of those guys must have said something the other didn't like about a garden hose, which gave both of them the right to kill each other. If your family is dysfunctional enough, you're not going to pay a visit to your brother in law's house unarmed, that's a good way to end up being the only one to get shot in argument over a garden hose that day.

1👍 1👎

garden hose

gives the best damn head

damn TJizzy sucks like a garden hose o0o0o0o0o i won B

5👍 18👎

garden hose syndrome

after sexual intercourse, the semen dries on the tip of the penis and seals it. This goes unnoticed until the man decides to pee. When standing over the toilet and starting to go, this seal is partially broken and you end up peeing all over your leg and the floor.

It is the same effect as pinching the end of a garden hose to make the stream change direction.

Her: "Why is your pee all over the bathroom floor? Can't you hit the target?"

Him: "It's not my fault, I had garden hose syndrome."

12👍 1👎

old garden hose

a flacid old mans dick

he was limp, like the old garden hose