Masticate

Verb - A quick cover up in case the word "masturbate" is spoken innappropriately or ill timed.

Me Hey, want to masturbate with me?
Her Excuse me?
Me I asked if you would like to masticate.

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masticate

Main Entry: mas·ti·cate
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -cat·ed; -cat·ing
Etymology: Late Latin masticatus, past participle of masticare, from Greek mastichan to gnash the teeth; akin to Greek masasthai to chew -- more at MANDIBLE
Date: 1649
transitive senses
1 : to grind or crush (food) with or as if with the teeth in preparation for swallowing : CHEW
2 : to soften or reduce to pulp by crushing or kneading
intransitive senses : CHEW
- mas·ti·ca·tion /"mas-t&-'kA-sh&n/ noun
- mas·ti·ca·tor /'mas-t&-"kA-t&r/ noun

Do you hob nob while masticating your comestibles?

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masticate

from the latin verb "masticare"; To chew as in food.
This is also a pun on the word masturbate, which makes it a great conversation starter.

In our society, families gather around a table three times a day and masticate together.

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masticate

1. To chew (usually before swallowing or spitting)
2. Sounds close to wordMasturbate/word (good for puns)

"I masticated over a hot plate for over an hour the other night."

"woah thats impressive"

*spits out food*

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masticating

It sounds like masturbating, but it actually means chewing.

Bob: Dude, I caught John masticating yesterday!
Will: Ewwww!
Bob: What, you got a problem with chewing?!?!?

Masticate

1 : to grind or crush (food) with or as if with the teeth : CHEW
2 : to soften or reduce to pulp by crushing or kneading

why wouldnt you masticate in front of my mom

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masticate

uh yeah, it means "chew". that is the literal definition. this isn't a slang word, you morons.

I'd like to masticate the heads off of all the people who make bad submissions to this site.

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