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Random
I put a hot pocket in the microwave and my god, it did the strangest thing... it cooked itself!
Friend: What are you gonna make for dinner?
Me: Eh... prolly some left over mac 'n' cheese
Friend: But you cant cook it again, its already made!
*I put the mac 'n' cheese in the microwave and set the timer*
Both of Us: Oooooo.... magic.
287👍 93👎
A girl who will get you warmed up but never cooks you well. A tease.
Bro 1: Hey man did you get with that girl from the party last night?
Bro 2: No she was a total microwave.
107👍 34👎
a device that uses magic power to heat food up. they often make a beeping noise when they are finished working there magic
I though i had a well bred microwave , then it goes and uses lanuage like that. how rude!
205👍 88👎
When you first get Guitar Hero and you think you are really good at it so you try to play on expert,just to find that you that you can only try to hit buttons. It makes the sound of someone hitting all the buttons on the microwave.
"dude i got guitar hero"
"nice i got that too"
"i tried playing but i just ended up microwaving into to fail"
7👍 2👎
A type of execution used by favela (slum) gangs in Rio de Janeiro where old tired are stacked up around a person until only his head is sticking out. Gasoline is then poured in up to his ankles and the whole thing is ignited from the inside. The tire rubber fuels an incredibly hot fire that sends thick plumes of black smoke into the air. A mound of melted rubber is left over that serves as a warning to others.
3 gang members were microwaved in the park yesterday.
26👍 10👎
A box in the kitchen in which the lazy arses of society may cook food quickly. It should have no metal inside it and have a turny turny table so it goes round and round. The food tastes better because it feels like it’s been to the Fairground.
“Ah, the microwave a modern gem”
“I say we just get together one evening and I will microwave up some left over Cottage Pie...”
“Did you hear about that sick geeza who microwaved a bumble-bee?”
microwave
To heat up a relationship at an unnaturally speedy rate. Unfortunately, the resulting relationship often is more like a Hungry Man TV dinner than a slow-cooked paella. Again, credit to TT for this clever characterization.
A: So what's new with T and E?
K: Splitsville.
A: No way!
K: Way.
A: Well, they totally microwaved it.
K: Yeah. You'd think they were like lesbians or something.
A: Nope -- just two lonely men wanting something real.
K: Oh fucking well.
A: Too fucking bad.
64👍 37👎