What Ails You?

A term used when you wanna know whats wrong with someone. Term is commonly associated with the character from the YouTube channel McJuggerNuggets, Psycho Dad.

Person 1: What Ails You anyway?

Person 2: I'm fine
Person 1: You're not acting the same. What Ails You?

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what are you, hourly?

A phrase making reference to being paid by the hour and implying that someone is taking an excessive amount of time doing something. Quoted most often on the FX series Archer. It can be used in reverse.

Archer "what are you, hourly?"

Archer "take your time, I'm hourly."

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what are you smokin?

a phrase used to show the stupidity of a statement or action made by another person

when he flipped off the cop at the light i smacked him a good one and yelled WHAT ARE YOU SMOKIN SON?

Guy A: That chick dont look too bad over there.
Guy B: What are you smokin? she looks like she just swallowed a beach ball!

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what are you shitting

a way of asking what someone is going to get at a restaurant because it is what they will be pooping out later. (a play on words of what you are getting)

waiter: what are you shitting today?
Customer: um can i please shit two double doubles and fries, and my wife will be shitting a chocolate milkshake. thank you.

what are you on about?

meaning "what do you mean?"

it is a shortened version on "what are you going on about?" or "what are you talking about?"

usually used when someone is not making sense for extended periods of time or if you feel like you've missed something.

can be lengthened to show complete and utter confusion.
eg.
what the fuck are you on about?
what, exactly, are you on about?
what the fuck are you on about, exactly?
what the fucking hell are you on about you fucking cock? how's about you learn to fucking speak english?

example 1.
knobhead: dude. i totally just pwned that n00b. i asdfghjkl; the ask;nfw. fo shizzle my nizzle dizzle.
awesome: what the fuck are you on about?

example 2.
knobhead: so, tomorrow, then?
awesome person: what?
knobhead: we can go and you can meet them, yeah?
awesome person: what are you on about?

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What have you

Etc, also known as whatever, anything, all else.

You can decorate this room with lamps, sofa, tables, oh! what have you!

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What Are You Wearing?

The internationally recognized phrase meant to initiate phone sex.

*two people talking on the phone*

Kate: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

Mark: That's funny, baby. So, what are you wearing?

Kate: You know those jeans blah blah blah and a tank top.

Mark: Why don't you slip out of 'em, baby?

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