Office Placebo

The worker that has everyone fooled, the fraud of the workstaff, appearing to be very hard worker when in fact doesn't really do anything

Dana : Tom was working so late last night, he send me a work email at 11:30pm.
Murphy: Dana, you're so naive, Tom's the office placebo ... he sent that from that club while dancing with the ladies.

jrotc officer

The fat fucks who sit around and skip PT. None of them can pass a PFT to save their life

Enlisted Cadet: has 5 ribbons and is on a drill team and goes to every event

Jrotc Officer: eH pIcK tHAt cRaP uP *eats McDonald’s French fries*

Officer O'Neill

Officer O'Neill is someone who pretends to be a cop for most of the night in 'The Groove', AKA da'club, answering all sorts of officer questions and at the end of the night tells you he just works at Verizon.

"Girl don't talk to that guy he's totally an Officer O'Neill.

office freak

that one guy in the office that you can never actually catch beating off, but you know he's doing it in the cubicle next to you.

that damn office freak is always bringing in lotion, and tissues.

office kevin

Any newly promoted person to a supervisory position who wears a sweat stained lanyard with his badge on it accompanied by a button up shirt two sizes to small and who smells of Chile Cheese Fritos.

I found Office Kevins lanyard next to the snack machine.

Office Blasting

When in the office bathroom, feel flatulence coming on, hold back on it and wait for someone to leave said bathroom. Once they open the door to leave, let 'er rip. Anyone within earshot of the bathroom door will think person exiting was somehow involved.

Mort: Hey Saul.
Saul: Yes Mort.
Mort: Boy did I do some office blasting yesterday.
Saul. Oye vey. Who'd you get?
Mort: Some schmuck from accounting.
Saul: Very good Mort.
Mort: Thanks. Smelt like a week old gefilte fish too.
Saul: Word!

Office Ninja

A term given to middle managers who are able to suddenly appear behind employees who are slacking. They make no sound and are undetectable until it is too late and they have seen you are on Facebook.

Employee1: Did you see Lost last night?

Employee2: Shh, keep that down. The new manager is an office ninja.

Employee1: Haha. He's in a meeting til noon, you're paranoi--

Manager: What are you two doing?

Employee1: Oh crap, where did you come from?

Manager: Back to work, gentlemen.

Employee1: Umm, okay. But that's kind of rude to sneak up on -- hey, where'd he go?

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