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War on Christmas

1. A memetic media virus propogated by FAUX News, the 24 hour infotainment network A completely ridiculous red herring spawned in the winter of 2005, the War on Christmas refers to the alleged schemings of liberal secularist grinches to threaten the religious freedoms of Christians, that horribly opressed minority (all 80% of them).
Cited examples of this so-called opression include opposition to displays of a distinctly religious nature erected on taxpayer-funded public spaces, and the policies of many businesses to wish their patrons 'Happy Holidays'. This was somehow construed by some disgruntled conservatives as an all-out declaration of war on Christmas.

2. The War on Christmas also alludes to the title of an entire book written by FOX anchorman John Gibson, an obvious marketing tie-in to the product they are constantly selling: divisive hype.

3. The ongoing struggle against insurgent elves. Even though Old Saint Nick allowed UN inspectors to visit his compound in the North Pole where no WMD were found, the Bush administration insisted on a preemptive-strike on Santa's Workshop.

Target Employee: Happy Holidays!
Disgruntled Conservative: What did you say?!? Do I look like some kind of jew? This is just another sick example of the tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, CNN-watching, Clinton-blowing secular humanist War on Christmas!!

by Dovetchka December 25, 2005

2012๐Ÿ‘ 4817๐Ÿ‘Ž


Christmas Crackwhore

A type of light entertainment that can be incorporated onto the Christmas table to add a bit of 'bang' to the traditional festive banquet. A smuttier and more entertaining alternative to the routine Christmas cracker, yet more prone to leave the operator with a bevy of sexually transmitted infections.

'Who wants to do this Christmas crackwhore with me? I'd go halvesies with Grandpa again, only last time we shared a Christmas crackwhore the bang gave him a stroke, and now his entire left side is more flaccid than Stephen Hawking's penis

by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2016


space christmas

December 27th. The day til which you leave up all of your bright blue and lime green Christmas lights after taking down the rest and celebrate Christmas like they would on the moon.

Also known as "Lunar Christmas" (not to be confused with the "lunar new year").

Christmas was great but I'm more stoked for that laser show on Space Christmas.

Have a SUPER STELLAR Space Christmas!

by Ol St Moon Nick December 27, 2013


Christmas Joy

It is the feeling you remember from your childhood and to this day have looked forward to every year because deep inside most people still have that glimmer of hope that all will be right with the world.

No matter how bad things seem to be going in our lives and it appears theres no hope for humanity we can all still endulge in the annual Christmas Joy.

by jpg3 December 2, 2010

1345๐Ÿ‘ 92๐Ÿ‘Ž


Spanish Christmas

When your parents tell you they donated your gifts to the poor because they didn't get you any and they don't want to admit how poor they actually are.

This year my family celebrated helping others so there was nothing under our tree.

Bro you were duped into a spanish christmas.

by Ranchgirls November 12, 2020

68๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Christmas Vacation

The best thing that Christmas has to offer. No school for a decent amount of time while you relax with all of your new gifts you got! Also the title of the 1989 movie staring Chevy Chase.

Christmas Vacation is so fucking amazing, especially since I can now play all my new games.

by Assassin aprentice September 14, 2016


Christmas Steve

The day before Christmas eve. This is the second last day to get all the presents bought.

It's too busy to travel on Christmas eve, I am heading home on Christmas Steve.

by win2day September 14, 2012

34๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž