church wood

An untimely and spontaneous erection of the male penis that occurs in a church, usually while sitting in the pew listening to a boring Protestant Christian sermon.

"I popped church wood this morning and had to cover my dick with the Bible when we stood up for prayer."

church parents

Parents who ruin your life on a weekly basis by signing you up for or taking you to crap you don't want. This includes them buying tickets to events you don't care about and they force you into them, ruining your life in every way possible when you can normally be enjoying your own leisure.

If you have a break from school (such as summer or winter), your parents are almost guaranteed to screw it up. This includes planning a vacation over your entire break, essentially making it wasted by the time your break is over.

Kyle: Dude, my spring break was wasted because my stupid church parents planned a vacation on it, taking me to stuff I had no interest in.
Chris: Aww, that sucks crap. Next break, do you want to spend it all with me and play Smash all the way?
Kyle: Why, yes.

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Church Boner

That time when u just randomly get a boner in mass and u try to hide it

"Dude I had the biggest Church Boner today wtf"

Church Train

A train in which it is too quiet to talk on your phone incase you disturb the peace, so you have to send a text.

Damn! i can't talk am on a Church Train.

chav church

A Job Centre, a place where chavs congregate on a bi-weekly basis to confess their utter inability to get a job and pray to receive a Holy Handout from the government.

"He's always hanging about outside the chav church drinking stella"

"He's been going to that chav church for weeks now and they just won't answer his prayers, so now he's going to take up burglary instead"

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Episcopal Church

1) The official member Church of the Worldwide Anglican Communion in the United States of America;

2) The only Anglican church in the United States of America;

3) The church of such glorious, godly men as Samuel Seabury, William White, John Henry Hobart, Philander Chase, Jackson Kemper, James DeKoven, and al.

Schismatic: "Yeah, I'm so glad I'm a member of this new Anglican Mission in the Americas church, with a total of like four dudes, one priest and a bishop; thank Gosh I'm not an Episcopalian!"

Episcopalian: "I'm afraid, Sir, that I am the only Anglican here because I am a member of the Episcopal Church, and that you are a consummate douchebag who can slather your smackers around my fist which will shortly be engaging your throat."

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Church Prime

The best religion in which dreamwastaken is god, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. The church prime is located in “the subs” in the dream smp. “The subs” is A peaceful area where people can WAP (Worship and prayer) and subscribe with twitch prime

“Church prime is the best religion” Everyone-

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